Little Love LostWhen I was younger I always felt peer pressure. It was never about being popular, or having lots of friends. I just wanted to feel normal. Having sex for the first time was a big step to me for feeling normal. When I got my first boyfriend I didn't really feel attracted to him, I never felt much for him. He was much older and all I really wanted was to experience sex.
When we had sex I felt nothing emotionally; you put nothing into a relationship you get nothing back. He then proceeded to show me that he felt nothing for me, leaving me alone in the rain after I lost my virginity and choosing to go to the pub.
After that I continued to sleep with people that I felt nothing for, just racking up experiences, never actually understanding that really I wasn't experiencing anything.
It wasn't until my current boyfriend that I understood what sex, or more specifically love meant. Sleeping with people when you feel nothing for them is a numbing experience not a liberating one.
Keep sex about love, keep people close.
freespeech 16-18, F 3 Responses 6 Jul 5, 2007