I Smile Even Though I Am Sad
I broke up with this guy I really truly loved. I thought we'd live together forever but he never felt that way about me. I was is back-up girl he used to fix his relationship with his "ex". I loved him so much and it hurts so bad to know he never felt that way about me.
Yet I'm forced to pretend I'm alright. I can never show the real pain, sorrow and hurt I carry inside everyday.
It's hard to cry at home over him at home because my stupid sister (who's never been in love) acts like I stupid for crying over him. I know he's a jerk. I know all this is say it everyday but I can not control the fact I loved him. To make it worst she always wants to be around me. I just want to cry without her judging me.
And obviously I can't cry at work or in class. I manage to sneak off to my room during the day and let the uncontrollable cries out and usually silently cry myself to sleep.
But in reality all I want to do is lay in bed all day and cry and cry until I am so tired I go back to sleep
I feel best when I'm with my best friend who has been through something similar. She understands everything, how I feel and what I'm going through.
Every day I am forced to act like I'm fine and everything is great but it's so hard and tough. I fight off tears most the day. I'm weighted down by unbearable sadness, anger, and depression.
I have been living a fake life for the past 71/2 weeks and I feel like I'm going to just snap and go crazy. I don't know how much longer I can keeps this act up.
Yet I'm forced to pretend I'm alright. I can never show the real pain, sorrow and hurt I carry inside everyday.
It's hard to cry at home over him at home because my stupid sister (who's never been in love) acts like I stupid for crying over him. I know he's a jerk. I know all this is say it everyday but I can not control the fact I loved him. To make it worst she always wants to be around me. I just want to cry without her judging me.
And obviously I can't cry at work or in class. I manage to sneak off to my room during the day and let the uncontrollable cries out and usually silently cry myself to sleep.
But in reality all I want to do is lay in bed all day and cry and cry until I am so tired I go back to sleep
I feel best when I'm with my best friend who has been through something similar. She understands everything, how I feel and what I'm going through.
Every day I am forced to act like I'm fine and everything is great but it's so hard and tough. I fight off tears most the day. I'm weighted down by unbearable sadness, anger, and depression.
I have been living a fake life for the past 71/2 weeks and I feel like I'm going to just snap and go crazy. I don't know how much longer I can keeps this act up.
By:
nolongermyslef
Age:
18-21
,
Female
