Delicious, Wonderful Cigarettes

The first time I started smoking I was eighteen and in my first year of college.  I really liked it.  I have no memory at all whether smoking was "in" at the time.  but it sure suited me.  And I went on smoking for thirteen years, until I was 31.  I was working in Tokyo at the time and quitting was tough.  But after a month it worked and I wasn't smoking any more.  I didn't use any "program" or gadget to quit, I just quit.  That was in August, 1976.  Life rolled on.  In 2004 life found me, married - no kids - in a small town in Florida.  One of my brothers lived to the north.  My mother lived about a hundred miles to the south.  She got pancreatic cancer.  I was the nearest one.  I spent the most time with her.  I started to smoke again.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe it was just to break the tension of being with someone who might die at any time.  Mom lived much longer than most pancreatic cancer patients, three years.  And I was there with her.  Smoking away.  She died last year and I still haven't been able to break the habit.  I've tried about six different programs, all about as dumb as they come.  But the so-called "recession" (depression) is still killing me, and I have to suppose that that's a significant cause in my continuing smoking at this time.  I wouldn't mind stopping smoking, but I wouldn't mind dying either.  I'm 64 and life just doesn't seem worthwhile any more.  Except I have a wife to take care of.  Without her I'd be gone in a flash.  Now I drink a lot and just wait for things to happen.  If people are silly enough to smoke, by now (2010) they know all the facts and have to choose their own fate.  There really is no reason for tobacco to be legal any longer in this and many other countries.  If my understanding is correct, normal doses of opiates may make you high and unfit for things like driving, but they won't kill you.  That's not true of cocaine, which has a very negative effect on your heart and will kill you if you give it a chance.  Regarding cannabis, it's just a joke.  It doesn't hurt you as much as alcohol, but it does have some negative effects if you smoke it three times a day.  I don't use any of those drugs except alcohol and cigarettes.  I'll stick with what's legal.  That's bad enough..

Zotz123 Zotz123
70+, M
2 Responses Feb 16, 2010

Your Mom's cancer started your smoking and I quit the year Cliff got cancer. I used Zyban, also under the name Wellbutrin. The hospice nurse said it started out as Wellbutrin, for anxiety and it was noticed the patients were quitting on their own. It was then marketed as Zyban for big bucks and without insurance coverage. This is the no pain way to quit. It doesn't have nicotine and there's no stress. You start out smoking while taking it and suddenly you just don't want to light up. It'll be 10 years this October for me. Gain without pain.

Well, if you're not enjoying life, I see no reason for you to worry about quitting smoking. However, having said that, I'd start taking a closer look at why I wasn't enjoying life, the particular reasons behind that. I mean, there have to be things out there that you enjoy. For me, it's as simple as having movies to watch and music to listen to. For others, it could be reading or bowling. Find something you enjoy and spend as much time as you can doing that. There's no excuse at all for anyone not enjoying life. Sure, the world seems to be falling apart, but hasn't it always seemed that way? Step back, do something you enjoy, and do something about that smoking some other time.