One Hell Of A Downward Screaming Ride!

This story is probably no different from any other screwed tale of living an illusion. A hellish, soul ripping catch 22...

I'm an addict. I barely manage to pay the bills. Actually, that's a lie. It's to the point where I've successfully backed myself into a financial suicide and for months I've known it, and still find a way to ignore all the opportunities to make a positive change. I'll see the right decision, and begin pondering how to stretch the funds to the bitter end on every paycheque.

The real problem as I see it, stems from being alone and being sick of going to bed alone, waking up alone, eating alone, etc. So, when I get high, I feel full of sexual energy and willingness to go on dating sites and reach out to people to correspond, and make loads of attempts at meeting someone. It has never worked... It's a perfect definition of insanity. I really need a head doctor but I never make that step. I ******* hate my life right now, and it's gotta stop.

I could go on but, you get the picture.
emptyspirit emptyspirit
41-45, M
Dec 3, 2012