Past Tense

I've given marijuana way too many chances.

When I was 16, the girl next door got a tiny bag of ****** weed and a packet of rollies from her boyfriend.

My high school group thought weed was something only the losers that ate lunch outside the science building did in between discussing internet memes and the last episode of South Park. My neighbour was home for the holidays from her Catholic boarding school, where she'd been banished due to...bad taste in boyfriends. So we hid under a tree in our shared backyard and fumbled with rolling paper, both impressed with our rebelliousness.

We smoked those misshapen joints exactly the way movies taught us to.

She fell in love.

My face swelled till I resembled a lopsided Freddy Krueger.

My mother forced me to go to the doctor's where I lied my face off and was given some meds for a bacterial infection.

I didn't try it again till I was 18 and in my second year of university.

Because I was a clever girl, my boyfriend was a third year international relations/philosophy major who was still doing intro courses and selling on the side.

I smoked "the greatest hydro **** in the state" a few times. It generally gave me twenty minutes of giddiness before I passed out for half a day. (Having done enough soma and oxy by this stage, I knew the difference between snoozin' and unconsciousness and this was definitely the latter.) When I woke up my throat would be tight, my jaw, armpits and back would be lumpy and i'd ache all over. Of course my boyfriend's solution was to just smoke it out, which really didn't help.

I really wouldn't care about my low tolerance for the stuff. I don't even particularly like the high, which makes me nearly incomprehensible. Except for one thing I discovered: it's brilliant at taking away nausea when I'm drunk.

When I was in Amsterdam, I tried some space cakes and there wasn't too much swelling, but they made me incredibly queasy.

I gave it another shot a few weeks ago and was down and out for the count before I could even find my bed.

And everyone knows wasting a good high with sleep is sacrilege, so never again!

This time I even mean it!

Now I just have to teach myself how to say "no"...
kikis2 kikis2
22-25, F
May 8, 2012