I Smoke Pot
I remember the first time I tried pot - it didn't do anything. The pot was old and my friend and I had no idea what we were doing. The second time was...not so good. I was with a few friends, all of whom had a LOT of experience with pot. I didn't let on that I didn't really know what I was doing. I had almost 1 bowl, and I was thinking that would hardly do anything because it hadn't worked before. Well, I was wrong, and was blacking out for the next few hours and had no control over anything I did. It was not too big of a deal, but I ended up doing some things I never would have done otherwise and now regret.
The third time I smoked was when it all changed. I started blacking out a bit, and since I was at a friends house and needed to leave before her parents got home, I decided to start walking back by myself for the mile it was to my other friends house. I started walking down the road, and all of a sudden I was no longer in anything remotely similar to my normal mental state. I was hearing voices, and seeing things that I was not sure were actually there. I had to pee really bad, and so looked around (this was a back road in the middle of nowhere in Northern New England) and made sure no one was there. I walked into the bushes on the edge of a path by a field. As I was peeing I kept looking around and then all of a sudden I saw a man standing there. I ran for it. I have no idea if he was really there. I kept walking, and after a bit I felt this strange sensation on one of my feet. I felt what I thought was something growing up the center of my foot, like the roots of a tree, only yellow and snakelike, branching off in places and growing out from my foot. I heard people talking - kind of a faint whisper - I walked by an apple orchard and saw someone sitting in a tree, and someone standing by it. I waved to them and tried to put on a normal smile. I was flipping out. I doubt there was really anyone there. I was walking by the road and a truck came, and I thought about how painless it would be to die in my current state by jumping in front of the truck - because I felt so strange and numb. I was checking over my shoulder about every half second because I thought people were following or watching me. I continued to flip out about things that were all in my head until I finally fell asleep for a short nap over an hour later. The side affects did not completely wear off until the next day.
I have smoked since, and the experience has been very different depending on the pot I am smoking. I do not ever smoke unless I am in the place I plan to spend the night - That way if I loose control again, I don't need to travel and put myself in dangerous situations. I feel that my experience with pot has been slightly abnormal, but I am not sure. I want to know if other people have these reactions. I do not get the typical "mellow" results. I do get the munchies, and I do take an hour to make any decisions, but otherwies it varies with the pot. I always get the blackouts - is that normal to not be able to be high without blacking out? I know that with some people pot can trigger schizophrenia, but I wonder just how likely that is. I have been smoking a lot in the last week, and am wondering about whether or not I will ever be able to do it socially, as at the moment I become very "inward" when I am high.
Any thoughts?
