I Love To Smoke

I started smoking at 10. I had been fascinated by smokers and very curious about smoking at least since toddlerhood, and for as long as I could remember I knew that I wanted to be a smoker when I grew up. Two of my uncles smoked Camel Lights, and looked up to them for my entire childhood. They were the main reason why, when I bought my first pack I purchased that same brand. Before I did it however I practiced in the mirror in the bathroom with a straw I'd cut down to the size of a cigarette. I spent a long time over probably weeks or maybe even a couple of months doing that and it was then that I figured it out just by accident the difference between ordinary inhales and direct lung inhales.
I wish that I knew the exact date

I wish that I knew the exact date, but sometime toward the end of the spring or the beginning of the summer of my 10th year, I manage to find the courage to finally go into a small mom and pop convenience store about six blocks away from my house, and ask for a pack of Camel Lights. I don't remember whether I got a soft pack for an actual box but I do you remember that I didn't have any problem whatsoever buying them. I rode my bike straight to a dense patch of woods outside of town and after I stashed my bike deep in the middle of something bushes on the side of the road I walked far enough into the woods and I was sure nobody was going to observe me.

In all honesty, I don't remember anything about handling the Packer looking at it or opening it or anything. It would've been my first experience opening up a pack cigarettes, and if it was a soft pack I wonder how easy I found it to open it properly. In any case, I open the pack and Took my first cigarette out and placed it between my lips. I knew that one had to inhale to really smoke, and I'd seen enough films with unsuspecting kids trying a cigarette and coughing their guts up after inhaling too deeply, to make the same mistake. I was careful, and inhaled just a little bit at first. The taste was a little weird at first, but I got used to it fast. And the buzz...the buzz was intense after a few small drags, and truly great-feeling.

From those first moments, I was hooked and hooked hard. After all, who could resist repeating something that was THAT freakin' good?? And at first, that's all that smoking was about for me--chasing that sublime buzz.

These days, I keep smoking for simple reasons: because I'm hooked, and because I love it. I do know that it is very bad for me, and I wish I could quit--but the fact is, I love it too much. Pills and patches, meditation and books--they've all failed because I can't imagine my life without the pleasures of cigarettes.

In truth, there are times when I actually feel sorry for folks who don't smoke. Who don't know the pleasure of that first delicious smoke in the morning; the one over coffee; the one after a big meal; the one while stuck in traffic, or the one after a long flight. It seems to me that life without smoking would be missing something that is truly valuable, pleasurable, and satisfying. And that means I'll likely die a smoker.

CamelWidesFilters CamelWidesFilters
41-45, M
1 Response Nov 30, 2012

That's the spirit plan that early retirement

Actually, I seriously doubt I will die of cigarette smoking, primarily because I plan to die with so much meth residue in my lungs that the corner is able to extract a 20 pound shard from each lung.