Has anyone else ever felt that when they take weed that they're going crazy?

I'm smoked weed on and off for a good few years now. It's been a while since my last time. Well, before last night.

Last night I had what I suppose could be considered a psychotic episode. Basically, I took a few hits then starting thinking that I was going crazy. I felt as though I had just trapped myself on a course from which there was no return. I texted my gf and asked her to come and watch over me. As I was texting though, I suddenly became afraid for her safety. I felt as though someone was controlling my actions and that she was in danger. More specifically, in danger from me. I tried to stop texting, but I sent it to her anyway and she replied saying she was on her way.

Afraid for her, I went and knocked on my roommates door and woke them up and asked them to look after me until my gf arrived. I suppose I hoped that by the time she got there they would have calmed me down and/ or the main bad effect would have worn off. But that wasn't the case. Instead, I started imagining that they were against me somehow. Rather, one of them was against me, and the other one was on my side, and that I had to choose which of them to trust. If I chose the good one, everything would be ok. If I chose the wrong one, then all the evil thoughts I'd been having, the insanity, would never stop and that I'd be trapped inside my insane body for all eternity. Worse, I would be driven utterly insane by the fact that I somehow knew what evil things I would do but would be powerless to stop.

Eventually my gf came, and although I wanted to be alone with her to comfort me, I was also worried about my thoughts, so I tried to nonchalantly suggest that we all go downstairs and watch TV or something. At the time it was imperative that I not be alone with anyone, not even myself. I remember that very clearly. Downstairs, my gf and housemate, G, turned on the TV and tried to relax me. I kept getting an overwhelming sense of deja vu - like I'd gone through everything I was currently experiencing before, but somehow this time felt different. More real. More real than anything else I've experienced. I found myself trapped in an endless cycle of finding out that the world around me wasn't real and that I had only just started to wake up. Like in the Matrix. I got the impression that my gf and G were talking to each other and me in code and that I had been here faced with this choice many times before - again I had to make a choice over which one to trust.

I can't describe fully the sensation (which is probably a good thing), but I have never been so terrified of anything in all my life. My mind kept scratching at an idea that - I suspect had I been able to fully articulate it - would have forever condemned me to insanity. I sensed that between my gf and G, there was a bit of a game over which one I would eventually trust. Again there was the sensation of having been here countless times before. My thought process was wavering between feeling like I was in Hell, being tormented for all eternity; or that I was being tested, and I had a choice in what would happen to me.

Locked in this never ending cycle of having to choose, I eventually decided not to choose, and went to my room alone - removing myself from the equation as it were. My gf came up, and I started feeling more normal, although I still had the initial bad thoughts throughout the night.

Right now I feel fine. Good even. I feel like I came close to something last night - an entity, or some sort of manchurian candidate-esque trigger but that I escaped.

I'll not be doing weed again for a veeery long time!!

Anyway, if anyone of you out there has had similar experiences, please share. I remember the absolute helpless, abject fear that I felt, and I would not wish that on anyone.

thatguy1187 thatguy1187
26-30, M
1 Response Aug 22, 2014

omg that's intense

You're telling me!