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The Feeling Inside

It is really great to read all the stories and realise one is not alone.I used to pray all the time for the same thing.I just always thought i was alone.I'm married 15 years,may wear panties and pantyhose,but thats as far i can go,Sex change has popped up but that has never led to any good,just lots of fighting.Really wish things could be different and in a very conservative country it never helps.

I do so enjoy everything femm,love to watch woman put on make-up,wear earrings,just getting dressed.Everything about being a woman is just amazing.All one can do is dream,mybe oneday ones prayers will be answered.
Megan172 Megan172 36-40 3 Responses Jul 10, 2012

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It is normal human behavior to want to cross those boundaries but our society causes us to repress it so that it becomes secretive and fetishized. Actually, the boundaries are dropped in the middle of a continuum, the way a motorway cuts through a landscape, ostensibly dividing it into two separate parts for humans but to nature it is still one. Anyway, for years before I told my wife, the fear of getting caught heightened the experience of crossdressing in a way that was so wonderfully intense. I used to slip on clothes while she was on the telephone in the front room. One of the most wonderful experiences was to wear her still warm clothes just removed after coming home from work, saturated with her perfume and the redolence of her body's warmth and knowing that I could be caught at any moment. For a few minutes I could imagine the way she felt being herself during the day and it would make me melt. The risk of discovery was half the experience of the rush of seeing myself in a female guise, especially one to whom I am intimately attached. I remember, as a child, thinking my mother, the child minder or a woman teacher were just the most amazing beings in the world - they where like goddesses to me and I just deliciously soaked in their powerful presence and studied and later envied them.

I believe those early relationships with women are part of what straight men subconsciously relate to in choosing their romantic partners. I guess I have a bit of a 'kink' though that also makes me want to emulate them. When I present as fem, I feel powerful and comfortable enough in my own skin to be softer and fluid in my presence; as a man, I am stoic, hard, emotionally closed and egotistical- at least I was but now I increasingly allow my 'female' self to appear alongside my male self. I had a dream when I was two or three about one of my mothers friends who made an impression on me and I remember thinking, when I awoke, how I wanted to be just like her when I grew up; I was utterly awed by her physicality and the clothes she wore, the way she spoke and moved. The dream had such a lasting effect that I still remember it very clearly. Once I was old enough to know I couldn't wish myself into being a girl or become a girl without being berated, I grew jealous of the beautiful, slightly older neighbour girl... and I started to repress it. But I am out now - women are awesome and I admire and worship them so I have no shame in emulating them or qualities that are traditionally ascribed to them.

Anyway, you are so very NOT alone - there are hundreds of thousands if not millions of us out there, in the closet, most afraid to be seen. In western culture, in most cultures, we still see the feminine as weak and lower than masculine, we exist in a binary world where any grey between the two is typically frowned on especially when it comes to diluting masculinity. I think that is why there is so much anger and violence in men, because they are not allowed to embrace any of the ambiguity that lies in that grey space or even things that are clearly on the other end of the spectrum, where essentially HUMAN characteristics and values have been assigned the moniker of 'feminine.' The only way this will ever change is when we begin to come out and proudly own it, to show people that we are your fathers, teachers, leaders, clergy, brothers. It is like the gay people coming out, once you have someone close to you, that you love who is gay, it puts a human face on it and begins to change your opinion. Society will change, one person at a time. These internet chatrooms and forums are the beginning.

The fear of getting caught and the fact that it is taboo does make it more exciting.
I remember before I told my wife. In the middle of the night I would to go into her lingerie drawer which was under our bed on my side. I would pull out one of her nightgowns and put it on and lay there next to her while she was sleeping. The thought of her waking up and catching me was very arousing.

thank you,that is very encouraging,will try that out,had my own heels and clothes,but that was given away,but am allowed to wear panyhose and panties 24/7 atleast,would love to read your stories.

Go as far as you can and as often asyou can and enjoy your own femininess. I go panties, tights and gurdle 24/7. When I get a chance I go further, all the way to full dressed and shopping some times. Try using makeu when you get a chance and see how fem you can get your self to look. It's fun and a big turn on. See my page for the stories I'v written about it.