Socially Unacceptable Humor

> I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had
> the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling
> my leg."
>
> I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume
> she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
>
> My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
> girlfriend yet.
>
> Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going
> fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I
> should change dentists?
>
> A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and
> talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel
> chair.
>
> I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
> reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she
> would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not
> listening".
>
> The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the
> worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.
>
> At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I
> lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly
> hair?
> Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!
>
> One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing
> commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct
> answer either.
>
> There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but
> I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber
> jackets.
>
> You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they
> drive slowly past schools.
>
> A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his
> girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He
> said "Her brother's got a mustache."
>
> Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on
> Facebook. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next
> thing I know
> 4,000 dumbass Muslims have added me as a friend!!
>
> Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I
> said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the **** channel
> in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular
> people-****, you sick bastard.
>
> The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could
> help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but
> our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

goforbroke goforbroke
41-45, M
1 Response May 15, 2012

You're hilarious!!! I had no idea!!!<br />
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SSW :)