The last time I saw him was after Valentine's Day. I got you a card, he said, but forgot it at home. It had cartoon bunnies on it...  

I don't remember what else he said about the card. But the fact that he would get me a card with bunnies, plus not remember to bring it, plus the fact that he was MIA on Valentine's Day to begin with, is gripping my heart. I try to swallow it and not make a big deal out of it.  

We sit down to watch the movie. He's cuddling me affectionately. I'm doing my best to relax. Five minutes into the movie, he looks over and sees the tears streaming silently down my face.  

He jumps up: What's the matter?  

Nothing. It's nothing and I'll be fine.

What, you really want me to ignore the fact that you're crying?  

Yes. No. But.

So I gather up all my courage and say: The card you described. It's the kind of card you get for someone you do not love. You know how I feel about you. And if you don't love me by now, you never will.  

He starts talking...damn if I remember the words but the gist is...It's not you it's me. And: This has happened before, women have loved me and I wasn't able to love them back. And: You probably want me to leave now.

Fallflower Fallflower
41-45, F
4 Responses Mar 17, 2009

Crap, I forgot I wrote this. Has it been a year already? Crap.

See what you mean!!!!

As long as i've known you, I find it very easy to tell you how i'm feeling & what's on my mind~<br />
<br />
You'll never have to constantly wonder or second guess with me :-)

We weren't in a relationship. Not a real one, anyway.