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I Cannot Get Over My Ex Husband

I am still in love with my ex husband but I can't talk about it to my friends & family. I started dating him in high school then married him when I turned 18. We were married 12 1/2 yrs & had two sons together. He was an alcoholic our whole marriage & at times when he was drunk he wouldn't treat me so good. When he was sober I couldn't ask for a better person. After 12 1/2 yrs of marriage I left & filed for divorce. We've been divorced 12 years now so why am I still in love with him? Call me stupid! I don't care. I can't talk about this to anyone I know personally so therefore I am not allowing myself to heal. He is a different person now but I am also married to a wonderful man now who doesn't deserve to be hurt. I want to move on. I want these feelings to stop. I want the night after night dreams to vanish! I am tired of waking in the middle of the night drenched in tears & the feeling of it all being so real! 
gatorgirl013 gatorgirl013 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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I understand what your going thru I was with my childrens father for 7 years and he broke up with me for someone else and that broke my heart but I always have to deal with him still because we have two sons together and I wish I didnt have to. I want you to know that it gets better because we cant let these dudes get the best of us.

let it go dont waste your time thinking those happy times because its over its time to move on your still young at 39 and im sure men still find you attractive in every way so never feel bad and think youre not capable of loving other person...just try and make friends who knows its just around the corner who admire and like you...

I moved on & after several failed relationships I got married again. Well he started appearing in my dreams every single night. Then all of a sudden I am getting texts from him again. How he still loves me and blah blah blah so it has confused my emotions. It's gotten better though lately :) Thanks for replying!

Im sorry you are si conflicted over this. Do you think maybe you still think about your ex so much because you need some closure? I know you guys have been split up for a long time but sometimes you gotta hash **** out! Idk but hopefully you can get to feeling like yourself again! Take care!

I think that's what it was. We needed closure. I think I finally got it :) Thank you so much!