Why Me?

I was benge drinking and finally opened up to a close family friend about how I really hated myself and my life and I was ready to die. Only because I am very disappointed about my life and I feel like a looser! So she panicked and called 911. I was taken to the hospital for suicide observation over night then I was admitted to a hospital mental ward! I saw some messed up insane people. I was still hungover and they were giving me all kinds of pills at least ten a day. I missed 3 days of work. I wasn't allowed to leave but they made me sign a paper that said I was there voluntarily! I was released after 3 days I lost 7 pounds and my blood pressure was really high. I am still confused I have a drinking problem why would they put me in a mental ward????

Anyway, I'm finally back to my normal routine of my miserable life, and yesterday I received the hospital bill for my 3 days which is 11 thousand dollars! I wish I could have kept my mouth shut! Why do I even waste time talking to anyone?? Now I have to suffer and probably file bankruptcy because I cannot afford this bill and my other bills like rent, car payment, car insurance, light bill, credit cards, and student loans! Now I truly wish I were dead! I haven't talked to her since my release and I don't feel bad about it either! The one thing I know now is not to tell anyone how I truly feel because they will never understand.
aqua83 aqua83
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 17, 2012

How sad. I'm here for you too.

Same here. Talk to me if you need. I used to cut myself and know what it feels like to hate life.

There are many people who would understand you just have to pick the right person. Someone thats close to you and won't overreact and listen to you until your finished. If you would like I would be open with talking to you. I promise I would not call the cops. Many times people believe that calling the cops is the only solution and will get their friend help but thats not always true. I'm here to talk so message me if you'd like