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Sometimes I Just Stop Talking...

I find it so hard to talk about things that have hurt or upset me..things in my past are espeially difficult to talk about...I'd just rather not do it at all...I hate argueing or someone being mad or dissapointed with me...I can't get people around me to understand my feelings or thoughts..I want someone so bad, like a friend who is always there for me and understands me 100%...I feel so alone all of the time...I wear a fake smile and petend I'm not hurting...but I am, I really am :(
deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 17, 2012

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I used to feel the way you do! What you will go through at your age is others will always have expectations of you. Unless you put a stop to it right now, its going to be a situation that you will be abused. if you read some of the other things I have written on this site. I have become a mean, bitter, person. I never want to see another person in the same position I am. Every thing has become a struggle, Every one has become terrified of me.
If I had come home and looked to my own wants, and needs things would not have come to the point my wife is always crying. My mother and father would not be on opposing sides of the question and instead of control, you would have something much more precious, You would have respect. You would have people act like you are an equal. They will learn before it starts that is the way you expect to be treated as an equal, You don't need to carry the load of all.
Take it from one who has watched his life go into the toilet and is still there if you don't things will either develop where you can never break the cycle or when you do break it, then the real resentment begins, You will be the rebel, you will be considered and ungrateful jerk, you will have people come to you and just say you will do this for me or else.
God forbid you have something go wrong. everything that you have done for others will be dismissed, There wont be any one that respected you enough to help.
So pleas keep trying to get others to listen.

i often feel the same way. I'm here if you need a friend or just someone to occasionally talk to. I know all about that mask you are talking about, i only take mine off when no one is around :(

im lonely

If you need someone to talk to, then you can talk with me. I can understand your feelings at an average level and will try to help you when you're feeling down. You can trust me if you want, and I will be nice to you :)