Husband and Mother-in-law Are Driving Me Insane

My husband drives me insane. I am his second wife, and he is always comparing to his first, his family says bad things about me to my face and in front of him, and he says nothing to my defense, when we are alone, he says how sorry he is blah,blah, blah. We have a 13 month old daughter, and his mother sits there and tells me to my face that she was unplanned and that she was an accident, and she will sit there and tell my daughter that she is a pain in her ***....(she's not joking when she says this)..Needless to say my husband doesn't find anything wrong with this and he acts like I'm just being childish about it, I may be to some, but this is my daughter, and i don't like for anyone to say bad things about her regardless.  He acts like a major jerk and doesn't even help me with her, but when he is around his mother he acts like he is super-dad and it ****** me off...Sorry had to vent

randifl06 randifl06
26-30, F
2 Responses Apr 18, 2007

Thanks for that reccomendation bonobabe, I'll have to get that too. <br />
I really feel for you. I'm fortunate I guess in the fact my husband has no previous wives and we have no children, but I do know what it can be like when you have the mother in law from hell and your husband fails to see what a cow she is and won't stand up to her to defend you!! I refuse to have any contact with my mother in law now, I hate her and I married her son, not her.

I recommend that you get the book titled "Toxic In-Laws" by Susan Forward, PhD. This may help you to identify some things going on and provide you solutions to what you are dealing with both your husband and inlaws. <br />
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Most of all, I cannot stress enough, that when people belittle you or say ugly things to you that is a form of toxic abuse. Some people do not realize how toxic they are and tend not to change. <br />
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I challenge you to take a weekend, stay with a friend or relative (preferably one that is not toxic or judgmental) and take some time for yourself and your daughter. If you feel great at the end of the weekend and you really don't want to go home, take that has a sign that you may need to explore your options. By no means, am I saying leave your husband, for in truth, inside of you, you have the answer you need. Take the time to hear yourself.<br />
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Be gentle and kind to yourself, for how we treat ourselves defines the boundaries on what we will take from other people. <br />
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May you find happiness, peace, and serenity.