Don't Know Why

I don't quite actually know why it is, that i feel very uncomfortable about beeing touched in any way.

I wasn't physically abused, there was just like a feeling of disgust towards physical closeness since i could think.

But it also depends on the person...

Sometimes i want to be hugged but even if someone i like intends to do so, i don't feel comfortable. And if i can recognize any far intentions of someone wanting to get closer to me, it seriously freaks me out.

So I'm in a dilemma situation i guess, cause i think I'll never be able to get into any deeper relationship or something... but contemporary i'm somehow longing for it.  But why is that? i don't know...

velescent velescent
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 9, 2010

Wow, nearly word for word, this sounds like something I would write. :/

Me too - I'm not exactly aphephobic, I think, but it's just that I feel kinda stifled by things like hugs and pats on the head and stuff. Even if they're real close to me like my mum or best friends. I just stiffen up and stay frozen until the contact is over, which is kinda awkward when the other party expects you to return the hug. I'm really not a touchy-feely kinda person at all... <br />
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It's alright for me I guess, not in as much as a dilemma as you, since most of my closer friends know that I hate people touching me, and I don't intend to have a relationship just yet... Physical contact on the whole, isn't enjoyable for me at all. >__<