Getting Better I Think

I used to have a superpower. I could be invisible. However, this superpower only worked on Sunday nights. The power of invisibility was granted at church immediately after the service ended.

It was most powerful and painful at an inner city church I used to go to five years ago. It felt like high school. Everybody had their cliques they were part of. There were the university students, the workers and then subdivisions within those. In this bizarro universe, the cool kids were the workers who played soccer!

Now, people justified the way they ignored their "brothers and sisters" by saying that they should be more active and assertive.

A few years later, my Rashomon experience was completed:
a) In my Bible study class, one of the leaders had the task of opening the comments box. She read a card to the group. Someone new had come to the church with her sister and stood in the church foyer for 20 minutes hoping someone would greet them. As they turned to leave, they bumped into someone and talked. I guess the next week, they wrote the experience on a comments card.
b) Weeks later, one of my close friends at the time, recalled how she was leaving church one night. She was the one that had bumped into those two leaving and they told her their experience and relief at finally talking to someone.
c) Years later, at a different church, I spoke to one of the ladies who had gone to that church and submitted the comments card. She said her dad, a pastor of a different church, had written a letter of concern to the pastor of that church they had gone to.

These days, I sometimes feel part of something that has not fully included me. I'm a male volunteer member of a roller derby league. Overall, it's a general feeling that I am not one of them. It may be small things like people ignoring my then-attempts to add them as friends on Facebook but it's also not getting invited to hang out outside of derby.
On a positive and negative note, I was invited to a 40th birthday party by a player (with a different league) who is also a volunteer member (with my league). It was a fun night. I also remember holding out my hand and introducing myself to one of her colleagues who just totally ignored me.

I've quit Facebook and Twitter. Twitter is the worst. People totally ignore me.

59timesthepain 59timesthepain
36-40, M
Aug 26, 2012