Nothing to Offer!!!

 some people that know me on here, know that the past 10 years or so havent been the greatest for me!!! to make a long story short, in the last 10 years i moved back to scotland after living in south africa 20 years, and spending most of the last 2 years of that, as unemployed!! then in the last nine years since i arrived in scotland, i have lost 2 grandparents to heart attacks, i lost my dad to cancer, have suffered depression and a gambling problem (my own stupid fault), and for the last 3 years, been living with my mom, as she has been depressed and stressed out after my father passed away!!! the problem is, i have never had a girlfriend or any type of relationship before in my life, cos my life has been too much going on in my life to concentrate on that!!! but now that i have managed to get through all that, its left me thinking "what do i have to offer?" i mean i just dont see anything there that i have to offer anyone!!! im shy, kinda quiet and cos of all thats happened, im still living at home at the age of 29 (sad i know) and i just dont know what to do with my life now!! i mean when i was younger, i had so many plans as to what i was going to do with my life, and i probably hoped that i would have been settled down by now as well, but it hasnt happened!! i mean what sort of girl in her right mind would want to go out with a guy like me!!! my life just seems to be going nowhere fast, and i dont know what to do!!!! every time i try to think about what i want to do with my life from now on, my mind just goes blank!!! could it really be true, have i really got nothing to offer?

cowshed123 cowshed123
36-40, M
6 Responses Sep 15, 2009

oh god, I've had this crisis a million times, but what I think is you are right about how you couldn't have a girlfriend with so many things going on, and also I guess we all planned different things for our lives when we were kids. It's not true that you don't have anything to offer, at all!! you're great, you have just done what you had to and what I think is that you've got the opportunity of becoming whoever you want, I mean, considering real possibilities but now that all the awful things are over you can allow yourself to dream and build your life as you want. Just go step by step.

I know how cow shed 123 feels. But then I get to feeling like, well then, if I have nothing to offer than nobody else does either. And then I'm disappointed in other people. I have no role models and nobody to look up to. I think everyone is lost and confused and the people who seem like they aren't are just better at pretending to know what they're doing. They just happen to have personalities that enjoy comparing themselves to other people less fortunate and reminding them that they are less fortunate.

thanks amazonlucy!!! i'll just keep trying to be more positive about myself!!!

I feel like that sometimes too. I'm 24, going BACK to school because the job market on my original career/degree is currently nonexistant, working a ****** job, and feel like I should be so much more together and that I should know what I'm doing with my life. <br />
But I know that if I keep trying things will EVENTUALLY be okay. Just remember to keep looking up, and that things have to get better for you. Plus, you're only 29 - there is LOTS of time left for you to do what you want. I think that you'll find that you have lots to offer someone.

thanks for your comment enchanteddreamer!! i will your advice on board!!! i just need to try do something with my life, cos where i am now just isnt where i expected to be 10 years ago!!!!

Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to offer either, but I guess having this thought can be detrimental. You must remain optimistic. I feel the same way you do, where I feel like nothing has gone right in my life. Everytime I try to take a step forward, I end up taking 2 steps back. I've been going through an existential crisis, which is somewhat of a blessing. Where in darkness you find the light at the end of the tunnel. I've been doing more community work lately, helping a lot of people. Maybe you should try doing the same. You don't realize how much of yourself you really do have to offer until you help someone else out who is in need. Also, write down your goals and then prioritize them. After each goal, describe how and when you will achieve them. I found this tool to be helpful to me because I have been lost for a very long time as well.