This is bit of a cry for help.

I find it difficult to find people who share the same values as I have. I work in IT, and get great pleasure from making people's live better by providing them with better processes and tools.

Of course the process or tool has to meet a business need, but I also care about the quality of my work. I study a great deal, am always looking how to improve or extend my knowledge.

I find it very difficult when I work with people who don't share my values. Producing lower quality work is not necessarily going to cause problems. It's a bit like having insurance. You might never need it, but most people would say it's a good idea.

I find it difficult to explain my point of view in a way that changes people's minds. I get no satisfaction from producing poor work - I feel like anyone can do that. High quality work lasts the test of time, has fewer bugs and is easier to maintain. I am also aware that sometimes people don't know what they want. I feel part of my job is to open their eyes to what is possible. (A nice quote I like is people didn't know they wanted graphical user interface until Apple brought one to the mass market)

Anyhow the long and short of it is I keep annoying people somehow, and consequently lose my job quite often. I am despairing, and do have some pretty dark thoughts about the future sometimes. A a result of my most recent loss, my marriage is at breaking point.

I've tried therapy, and reading some books like How to win friends and influence people, and Start with Why. The books help a bit, but I haven't been able to turn it into a habit.

It's easy to say just chill out and lower my standards, but computers just do what they're told, they have no common sense. So if it's a poor program, the users will get a bad experience. People would not expect someone to build a bridge without going to university and studying engineering, but plenty of people build software without any formal training.

I don't know what I'm expecting from this story. I guess I would like advise from people who share my values, but know how to cope in the real world.

Thanks for listening.

JohnSmith0123 JohnSmith0123
46-50, M
2 Responses May 6, 2012

Fumbling your way among idiots!ha ha! I suggest you read this book 'The 33 Strategies of war" by Robert Greene. I am also reading this book. It is helping me to be a better leader. And yes there is a difference between friends and followers. And I think you need followers to fulfill your goals. You have ideas. You can be an entrepreneur.You can lead any army of people.

So now my wife wants a separation, and I'm still trying to get my next contract. Life's not getting better yet. Should be ok once I'm in a contract again, as long as I don't have to work with idiots.<br />