I Have Allways Been On The Outside Looking In

Even as a child i never felt part of the crowd. I all ways felt like an outsider. I grew up in a small town where you are categorized by how much money you have. My family didn't have much at all. I tried to go to school dances and get to gathers but all ways ended up standing by myself and feeling uncomfortable.  High School I started lifting weights and playing football. I was very mean at the game. I would try and kill the other players. Even on my team at practice. I joined the Navy after High school and served 20 years. I was never able to have very many friends and the ones I did have would stab me in the back. I married at the age of 24 and have two kids. My wife has had extra marital affairs and I still stayed with her. My fault I guess. I dint feel close to anyone. My Family back home I cant stand to be around due to the things they do. My mother and brother both break the law in one way or the other. Just like this post I dint know how to communicate and get my point across the right way. Are their any other that feel this way?

ATHRUZ ATHRUZ
41-45, M
1 Response Mar 7, 2010

I understand the feeling. I've never been at the center of anything, and never craved to be the focal point of a room. I look back and think of my accomplishments. Take yourself for example. Despite your wives extra marital affairs, she has give you two children. You have served this country for 20 years in the navy. Life is about prospective, and if you choose to view the negatives you will always feel like an outsider. I would look at those accomplishments and be very proud. I thank you for your service.