Recently, i have felt extremely alone. I think i may have depression. To my friends, im the loud, crazy, fun, party girl who is always laughing. But once i get home and retreat to my room, I want to die. I know part of it is because I have never had a boyfriend. I was close to getting one, but it just never happened. Me and my friends joke around with it but it upsets me so much. I've told my best friend how I feel and she says she understands and tries to help comfort me and ensure that im not the only one but it doesnt work. I tell her about my parents, how they always fight. My mom is depressed and im pretty sure my dad has some kind of form of bipolar because hes ALWAYS screaming for the littlest things. I try to ignore it, but it makes me feel so scared. Ive tried cutting myself, but it didnt really do anything for me. It scares me that I can feel this low and cry so easily now. I feel so bad too, like the day my best friend got a boyfriend, I acted happy infront of her but when i got home I cried histarically. Im not jealous, but it reminds me that i dont have one. I could never tell her how i felt cause she would just feel bad too and think I was jealous. Oh, and did i mention that my other best friend got a boyfriend the same week? ultimate low. Im just so scared. I dont want to go to highschool. I rather sit in my room all day like I do now.
Does anyone have advice or feel the same???