Sometimes...

Sometimes I do feel lost. I do have sad days, when I realize that my anxiety disorder isn't getting any better... and that I am still stuck in the house, most days. That my therapist sucks and she won't help me in this. Well, to be fair, she doesn't know HOW to. She only knows how to treat depression, which I no longer have. Whoo-hoo! :-)

And so... sometimes I feel lost as to what to do next. Do I just accept that I have social anxiety and may never get past it? Do I try to fight and overcome it? How do I fight and overcome it? And I know what you are thinking... get another therapist. Which is easier said than done. My insurance doesn't cover all places... and the ones they do, I've tried before. This last center was my last chance and hope. And within this place, they refuse to give me another therapist... I don't know why. My mother thinks that my therapist is sleeping with the boss there, and he won't give me another therapist because he favors her more! lol. My mother, ladies and gentlemen! XD

But then... there may be something to my mother's theory... my therapist does makes eyes and giggle, towards the boss, whenever we pass him in the hall. Something may be going on there. :-/

I am wanting and willing for some grand adventure... to travel... to meet people... to hang out with my friends in Ireland. To visit Japan! But, sometimes... it feels so futile.... as I can't even step outside my front door, most times, without having an panic attack. :-(

So... sometimes... I do feel lost. And then, by the next day, I forget and just deal with my current life, hoping that things will change in my future. :-)

deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Mar 23, 2009

i think you may have a day by day situation. i have good and bad--hugs-flour

Well, first of, I'm so happy to hear you no longer have depression *hugs* way to go!! I know it must be really frustrating to still have a hurdle to get over even after fighting depression...I don't have any useful suggestions, and I'm really sorry, but i just wanted to let you know that you have my best wishes :) maybe you could consider making friends online from different places? I don't know...even pen pals or e-pals might help stop you from feeling so alone...it has helped me a few times