There Is An Evil In All Of Us.

And it sometimes eats at me. I've grown very angry over the past few days because my past has caught up with me. And it's made my present ****. And my days since then have been an unforgiving challenge. I hate this because it's causing a shift in me mentally and now it's at a threshold where it could go to two extremes. One where I completely shut down and god knows whenever or if I ever come out of that, or where I explode and everything I held dear before sees a side of me that could have me losing everyone. I don't know what to do to control it. I've started to crack and everything that I see in front of me, every little thing, has become something to challenge me. Why the **** did I have to be so nice? Why have a been such a pushover? Why can't I just get a full grip on my life? I've been growing into such a positive person and now, I can't sleep. I eat maybe once a day or every two days. I keep having nightmares all the time. I'm losing what sanity I have left. I'm going to slip over the deep end soon, I just know it. Will I be able to crawl back, who knows.....
CRD1983 CRD1983
26-30, M
Jan 8, 2013