Depressed All the Time

Sometimes, I get really depressed. For no reason in particular. I can be in the best mood for days, and suddenly I am depressed. I don't want to do anything, go anywhere, see anyone. It causes problems in my relationships. At work, or at home, family life, friends. No one knows what to expect when they talk to me. And the affects aren't just emotional or mental. Physical symptom's begin to occur. First it starts out as a headache, then might turn into a migraine. My whole body gets sore, and I feel like I just ran 10 miles. I sleep too much, or either not enough. My weight begins to change. I'm either gaining or loosing, but never loosing enough. My fiance, he's great about it, but doesn't fully understand the whole effects of my depression. He knows I am bi-polar, and sometimes he gets frustrated and says I am just using my disorder as an excuse. But he is usually the one who rubs my head to put me to sleep when my head hurts so bad I am in tears. Sometimes, I feel like I am the only one out there who feels this way, and it makes me just want to curl up in a ball and die.
LadyRant LadyRant
22-25, F
2 Responses May 12, 2007

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WOW, i think in a bizaar way we are kindred spirits, i do not know much about bi-polar but i was diagnosed with clinical depression when i was 24. Unfortunately, my now ex-husband was of GREAT support at the beginning, but unfortunately in the end found it too difficult to deal with. I don't blame him for that, because i too, get sick of my depression, Sadly he chose never to educate himself on it and in the end i think he thought i was merely going through the *blus* and using my depression as an excuse for many things that i simply could not do. I hope your significant other, unlike mine, choses to educate himself on all the dynamics, as they are so damn complicatd, I wish you both sucess on a difficult journey, just remember you are not alone. Take care of yourself!! That is the BEST thing you can do for your seld, Be wll and ood luck!!