Just Another "Episode"

I go crazy, when I forget to take my medications like clockwork, I will be screaming and throwing anything I can grab and breaking anything I can and then I just end up on the floor crying for about an hour.  Sometimes though its not so good, sometimes I attack my boyfriend and the only way he knows how to stop me is to grab me and hold me against the wall for a minute.  Otherwise I will not stop.  I know it must be hard for him to deal with me.  I just want to have a normal relationship for once in my life.  I am so tired of pushing them away.  This one has managed to stay for almost three years now beleive it or not!  I am so scared that he will leave soon though.  I know how hard it must be to deal with me. 
mandy2282 mandy2282
22-25, F
1 Response May 17, 2007

Ah that's so sad. I can relate to the not taking the meds on time. I haven't taken them in 2 days because I was too ill to go out to the pharmacy. I just took it and I feel a lot better. Is there any way you could get a pill box with a timer or those new alarm pill boxes? That would be a good way of not doing this to yourself or to your boyfriend. Then you wouldn't have to feel bad about what you are doing to him and have a much better and healthier relationship.<br />
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My heart goes out to you!