It Needs To Stop

I dose off a lot. Even when people are talking to me. It usually happens to me while I'm in a car. I stare out the window and watch people passing by and if anyone is to talk to me, I don't listen to a thing. I'm usually creating these experiences I've never had up in my mind. I have an alter ego that is more confident and fun. I daydream about having people admire me and having fun with friends. I daydream about talking to people who I haven't been talking to for a while now, in situations that most likely will never happen and doing things I probably wouldn't have the balls to do (although I'm gettting there...).

It's really hard for me when it all comes crashing down. I literally get angry when I'm in my room dosing off listening to music and all of the sudden someone interrupts my daydream. I probably get more angry at the fact that I know it isn't real. This has been happening for so many years now, and I want it to stop. Even though it takes me to a very happy place, I can't live a fictional life. I feel destroyed when I fail to make those events I daydream about a reality. I don't know how to do this. I can't control myself from dosing off. Sometimes I even feel like it's an addiction. Whenever I'm feeling very down, I take my iPod and listen to music. This always takes me to that happy place in my mind.

LeZombie LeZombie
22-25, F
3 Responses Feb 28, 2010

Yes. Painfully shy.

Yes. Painfully shy.

Are you a shy person?<br />
<br />
I do this often and I'm pretty sure it's because i'm really shy. I find myself thinking about things I wish I had done or things I wish I could do.<br />
<br />
If it's making you angry, try finding things (if there are any) that you're glad happened instead of things you wish to happen.