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Some Times You Need To Hear An I Love You

Growing up I was always the the chubby girl i grew up basically under my cousin she was the population one and I was just there. She would defend me growing up. In 5th grade my mom put me on a diet i lost a ton of weight and got back in shape I struggled with it , it would go up and down. I had to fake it that my self esteem was good because my mom and family would always bug me about it. At some point I remeber that throwing up after I ate would be a good idea and then in 6th grade is when I noticed guys liked me and i loved having a guys attention. I moved to a different town and there guys liked me more. I then met this guy he boosted my self esteem told me what i wanted to hear he wouldn't tell me I was gaining weight or anything negative just posatives. He was my first love gave myself to him completly he was in trouble and had to leave the state I remeber that day when he left he wanted me to go with him and for us to get married and start our lifestyle together I was 15 and he was 17 i said no even though i wanted to do it I knew it wasent right. I dated guy after guys fter guys partying and going to partys I loved that guys wanted me I didn't want them I just wanted guys to give me there attention. I only dated and took some guys serious and those I did I got attached quickly and I realized it was horrible because it would scare guys away and I would always end up going back to my first love. Now that I look wt it hw prolly thought this girl is young and stupid the day I decided to let him go forever was the best day of my life because I realized I could love again and I did I had the love of loving my child the guy that got me pregnant didn't care I lost my baby and that made me think of myself less he didn't support me emotionaly and for that made me think maybe im not meant to be loved. I decided to stop begin me stop getting attached to people that I needed to stop thinking about future with anyone around that time I just partied and it help me keep my mind away from everything. I then met this guy and he changed my life, the first day we met we went on a walk and first thought I had when I met him was he's so cute! We talked and he seemed perfect he had everything I wanted in a guy and i began to have a crush on him. With time I began to love him he became part of me and I knew that he was that guy that is different he was that one guy that proved to me they were all different. I couldn't imagine my life with nobody but him
Jimena123 Jimena123 18-21, F Apr 12, 2012

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