Want To Give Up.

Depersonalization kills me. it eats me from inside.it really feels like a little more and i'm going to lose myself.To forget once and for all what is me,who is me. i want to give up waking up every morning into this imitation of life. living like a robot. with no feelings at all. no joy, no happiness. i don't feel a thing! nothing! i'm so tired pushing and pushing myself farther. there is even no healing for this **** of illness. what am i hoping for.
oh Lord if it wasn't You i would give up a long time ago already. but what am i waiting for? maybe i need to accept it. but i hate it. i hate it so much.
pro0ject pro0ject
26-30, F
4 Responses Jul 25, 2010

How are you made to feel depersonalized? Is it implemented by friends, family, a colleague? I need to know: Who, What When and Why. <br />
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As far as giving up is concerned, a lot of people do have that emotion. One of the most common fantasies encountered by therapists is to just one day, get into one's car and drive away; start a new life all over again. <br />
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Lots of people want to give up on their lives. Some want to escape and begin anew. Some want to just die because they are anhedonic, like you. I am not here to tell you it will get better. I can only tell you how to try to make it better. I will not insult you with platitudes. Platitudes are useless. <br />
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If you want to learn how to take the first steps toward "attempting" to make it better then contact me. If you are in the stage of grief, wherein you simply need to state your grievances, then listen to the others whom have posted here.

I have been there as well. I have always had a relationship with God but there was a time when I thought he didn't care, had foresaken me. I cried out to him. I hurt so much physically from a severly emotional pain and I thought just let me go, end my suffering. But I persevered. I see it everyday through my patients as well. It is god but it is also the will in our hearts and soul that keeps us on our feet that leads us to the greater day. Good luck on your journey and never be afraid to ask for help.

Beleive me when I tell you that you are not alone in your journey, I am right there. I have time's when I am so lost in anger and pain that I cry out for him to just take me home, But I also know that I am in the palm of his hand. Not all of my time's are bad though. I have met and connected on here with other's who are with me in my and theie battle with the same thing. I can talk with them and they with me when the battle rage's. We understand each other. Does it Alway's help, No. But it does more then it does not. And yes I spend alot of time talking to the God I serve. He send's me his angle's in my darkest hour's. So even though you fell alone there are other's of us that are there also. Dont be affraid to reach out to them. I have met some on here that are dear to me. They are my friend's in time of need. Not all angle's have wing's, some have depression.

I know it does'nt sound like it right now but a lot of people feel exactly like you. You are already moving<br />
the right way by sharing this with everyone and your belief in the Lord. If you have'nt yet I sure hope<br />
you see a doctor because depression can be helped, by the right people. You will find many people right here at ep that feel the way you do and will respond to your call for help! I know you are already shaking your head , but with my hand on a bible I would tell you " been there, done that" .I hate it too<br />
but there are meds that are supposed to help. And other people - that's why I said you are reaching outout by telling your story and people will reach out to you!! God Bless You : )