On The Floor Cyring....again.
I do get on the floor and cry, but I don't lie there. Usually I am on my knees with my face in my hands, forehead pressed to the wood. I have cried a lot recently. First I cried over a "boy", which is silly because I am in my forties. One would think that one would stop this sort of behavior after twenty-five or maybe thirty. But I have been divorced for two and a half years after a seventeen year relationship, so this was the first time I had been on a date in two decades. I wanted him to like me and to call and he was so slow about it that I convinced myself that I was doomed to be alone for another forty plus years. Then I cried over the probably loss of my job in the next six months (a much more legitimate reason to sob). And my nineteen year old car has been in and out of the shop eating up money that I will need to keep a roof over my head in the fall - several nights of floor crying. I cried in the past week after listening to my ten year old daughter express her fears about my job loss (losing the house, not being able to fix the car, losing our cats, having to leave her school). And I have cried over people's kindness - two of my male colleagues (both superiors) have expressed their concern for me - which sent me back to my office to cry, although not on the floor. I don't know how people get through life without crying, but I would like to have a bit of break as the crying is evident in my face in the morning. Thank goodness for eye drops and tea bags.