A Different Sort Of Desire.

yes i desire the embrace of death sometimes, but not because i wish to just end it all, because i wish for something more, i want to die fighting, i want to be amonst those that on our day of annihilation has a weapon in hand and is cutting down those evils that have plueaged humanity for too long, to be defending the weak and slaying the wicked , to feel nothing but the true intentions to liberate those who can not liberate themselves to destroy the terroists who have destroyed so many others lives, to bring about peace through superior firepower to be a martyr  and die for allah and die for the sake of defending what is right in the world, i would never use suicide as an escape nor would i ever commit it in any way i only want to die as a warrior defending those that i can reguardless of their faith and to aid those who are in need, there is no cause greater in my heart then to defend the weak and serve allah to my very dying breath oh how i wish i could be in the front lines fighting and dying for justice and the truth , forgoing the image of my family surrounding me as i dye slowly in a bed , i will not die as i have lived for so long, sedintary i wish to dye as a warrior as one who can say in all honesty i did the best i could to defend the righteous and fight the wicked, that why i wish death would come sometimes, the only reason is that i can be a martyr and end my life with a sword in my hand and the fury of a thousand wrongs spilling forth as a river of anguish befalls my enimies as with the final stroke of a sword  i've saved or helped save my people and my last tear as all the anguish they felt rolls down my cheek i fall to the groun finally able to say in all honesty i fought and died for my people thats the only reason i wish death would come  for me, but not yet, only when i can fulfil that goal and defned the weak until then i pray every day and i will pray as much as i possibly can and be a better muslim in my life, people may say muslims are violent, but we are not what i am talking about is defence for all the wrongs done to my people thats what i mean ,  when love no longer means something to people sometimes the sword is the only way to communicate to them.