I Almost Left

Two summers ago, depressed as hell and hurting, I had a bag packed with essentials and a plan. The flight was leaving in three hours and would take me to a new city where I'd stay with a friend until I could find my own place, switch jobs and feel liberated and new again.

But, I thought about her...being alone, left and abandoned. And, I couldn't put my feelings ahead of her. That's not how I wanted to leave and didn't want to feel like a coward, running away like a little boy.

But, I know that life is still there and there are other flights.
Inman Inman
31-35, M
13 Responses Feb 3, 2008

I runaway once, but not for long though.<br />
I had to, I would suffocate myself to death if I didn't.<br />
It was good that I did; and I would still do what I did.<br />
<br />
Running away made me realize what I really wanted.

I feel like running away often also........it sounds like you are doing the right thing by not running, good for you Inman

God I hope I never win the lottery because I am gone the minute the check shows up in the mail goodbye cruel world!!!!! Hello Tahiti and pina coladas in the sand.

Ditto rockybear397...you can't run from yourself.<br />
<br />
You are who you are because of your experiences in life.

Someone did that to me, and it was the biggest favor they could have ever done me. It's not always doing someone a favor to stay. Sometimes the biggest favor you can do someone is to leave and give them the opportunity to start over. It was for me, anyway...

I had that thought my self but one thing I've learned no matter where I run . I can't run from myself.

I did exactly that, I quit my job, sold my house, packed my car and drove 2000 miles away! Knowing not a soul, and no family to turn too. Started a new life, and have been here for 15 years, and Loving every minute of it! If I had to do it again, I would have done it sooner.

I really like this story! You explained my emotions and reasoning at times! " I'll go with Honesty and Integredy... what she (he) deserves." I LIKE THAT! Hope I don't leave in a screaming fit! :O

That is it igce. <br />
<br />
Perfectly stated.

Because we're scared to deal with those often subconscious and other times conscious feelings that scratch at us?

oh orchid, why are we trapped? so to speak?

i fight the "i wanna run away" demon, every single day. don't really have a reason "why"... but i want to run away and be free.

Exactly.<br />
<br />
If I go, I'll go with honesty and integrity because that's what she deserves.