Where Would I Go??

My first instinct when things start going wrong is to hide.  I do my daily "need to things", but afterward I just don't want to face anyone. 

I will drive around in my car for hours. When I tire of that I will just find a place to park.  Sit in my car & listen to the radio & think. 

I also won't answer my cell.  I don't know if it a warped way to get attention, to get people to worry or not.  I sometimes think it is a sick little game.  I have never really thought about it or admitted that til just now.

If I could, I would run further & leave my life behind.  But realistically that is not an option & I don't know if it would do any good, anyway.  Because, no matter were I go there I am.

darlene darlene
41-45, F
4 Responses Feb 4, 2008

I read your story by chance just now; I relate to it entirely, and I do exactly what you have done...but I keep coming back. I wish I could just pack a couple of bags, get into my car, drive away and never come back. But, I have responsibilities and people who rely on me...but one day, one glorious day I`m going to live whats left of my life for me...I hope that you can do the same.

sometimes running away doesn't help or solve your problems, but sometimes it does.

oh this is sad i am a runner to i want to run and sometimes you cant

Yep....as Bob Marley said, you running and you running and you running away but you can't run away from yourself.<br />
Think I have played those sort of games too in the past, but nobody took any notice...!<br />
Think I have finally come to realise that I am the one who has to sort me out. Of course a little moral support along the way helps enormously! ;-)