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Where Can You Run When There Is No Place To Call Home?
Oct 15th, 2009
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L
ittle children want to run away when things are frightening at home. Leaving the source of pain is only natural, to put as much distance between pain and your heart is what running away is all about. But, what about when you "grow up"? What about when you have no were to run safely to?
My fragile world is crumbling all around me and there is nothing I can do about it or to stop it. I watch as I lose everything I thought I could never live without is removed from me...it feels like death and I am powerless. For the first time in my life, I cannot even run away or distance myself from this overwhelming pain. There are legalities involved and I have to stay and see it through, like a bad movie, all the way until the end.
Bile rises in my throat. Fear engulfs me. Panic awakens me at night and robs me of sleep. The future is uncertain at best...but I cannot go back and must go forward.
I wish there was someone to hold my hand, comfort me, and assure the frightened child in my heart that it will be alright in the end.
There isn't.
It is one walk it seems I must face all alone...
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  | Posted Oct 16th, 2009 at 9:02AM Yes but the truth is that you just cannot do this as an adult. This will sound twee: but I am a firm believer in the adage of "Whatever does not kill you makes you stronger" and I know from hard experience that this is true. Your life as you knew it has gone and you will need to build a new one. You will get through this. Life is very hard and unfair sometimes. My positive thoughts and prayers are with you through this difficult period.   |
 | Posted Oct 16th, 2009 at 6:01PM Thanks, padma. I am learning that strength is much greater than I believed and seems to come forth when demanded and summoned. I hope, in time, to be able to help others for what I have myself gone through. For now, I am grateful for the love and support from others. Much gratitude! +2 nods |
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