Think People Would Be Better Off

i just sometimes believe that people would be better off without me around, and i dunno, it feels like that is what people really want. i feel like a burden to everyone i touch or rely on, which is why i'm trying to move out, so i can stop feeling like a burden on my parents, i know they're supposed to put up with me, there my parents, but they know nothing about me or the way i feel.

i feel like its pointless going into the next day to feel like complete crap again and have the same things go through my head, but each day i will push myself into the next. i sometimes wish that i didnt push myself, that i just let myself go, but then something will happen that will make me glad i did push myself on, but the old thoughts will come back, and keep on coming back.......they wont leave, sometimes they are better, somethimes worse, but i dont think they will ever go away, cos if i've felt this way so much up to now, then why would the thoughts just leave?

i cant see myself growing old, i cant even see myself leaving college, i cant even see myself going back next week, cos anything might happen between then and now. i hate people asking me to tell them how i see myself in a years time, i cant tell them, cos i really cant see anything. its blank, thats how i see my future, a blank sheet of paper, each day decides itself what it will bring, and the way i feel will decide what happens.

sezy sezy
18-21, F
5 Responses Aug 18, 2007

We have the same feelings..Although i'm reaching my graduation soon..i feel like crap..i don't feel like doing anything. I don't even have a dream. My family is expecting a lot of me and when I failed once..it's like I'm a big load of burden.. Since then..I never felt oblige to do anything..Everyday, my father would always scold me for being useless. I tried to be normal as possible these past few years even if it causes me pain each time...But right now..I feel like just not seeing anybody..I want to be miserable..I don't know what to do and i feel like i'm a big waste as a human being..

We have the same feelings..Although i'm reaching my graduation soon..i feel like crap..i don't feel like doing anything. I don't even have a dream. My family is expecting a lot of me and when I failed once..it's like I'm a big load of burden.. Since then..I never felt oblige to do anything..Everyday, my father would always scold me for being useless. I tried to be normal as possible these past few years even if it causes me pain each time...But right now..I feel like just not seeing anybody..I want to be miserable..I don't know what to do and i feel like i'm a big waste as a human being..

We have the same feelings..Although i'm reaching my graduation soon..i feel like crap..i don't feel like doing anything. I don't even have a dream. My family is expecting a lot of me and when I failed once..it's like I'm a big load of burden.. Since then..I never felt oblige to do anything..Everyday, my father would always scold me for being useless. I tried to be normal as possible these past few years even if it causes me pain each time...But right now..I feel like just not seeing anybody..I want to be miserable..I don't know what to do and i feel like i'm a big waste as a human being..

I have felt this many times. I didn't think I would live to be this old or have a family as wonderful as I do. so don't give up on your life. It is worth living. the one of many things I have regretted is dropping out of college. stay and decide what would make you happy.Live your life fully. you deserve good things.

i've felt pretty much the same .... increasingly more over the last few years, i used to a long time ago as well ... but things got better for a while ... and i was happy, or at least liveable for a while ... but now i am back in that hole, unable to claw my way out... and sometimes i don't think i even want to ... i'm just riding the waves and going where they bring me ... i do know one thing ... i can't quit ... i won't, because others don't want people like you and i around... and i refuse to give another person any more control over my life... no matter what, you've gotta keep pushing forward through that blackness ... and hopefully one day you will reach the light...