Post

I Try

My school has 6 (or 7) Chinese exchange students, and I was fortunate enough to meet one named Alex. He's quiet and shy. I feel bad when he sits at my table because my friends don't make conversation with him. So I ask him questions and make jokes to help him into the convo. (I'm a very loud, chipper and crazy person at times.)

Anyhow I got really excited while trying to learn rock paper scissors in Chinese and was bouncing, literally, in my seat. My friends asked Alex if he though I was crazy, he said yes and they all laughed at me. It probably shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, but it did. After I talked softer and wasn't as hyper as before.

At the end of the day another friend, a sophmore, visited me and my friend Madigan in our homeroom. They both talked about how I apparently scare people off and that made me sad also. Madigan then proceeded to tell the sophmore about the student i miss took for a exchange student. And after laughing at my expense she decided to say sorry that she probably made me feel bad but its cute and I was just so over I just said it was fine and it always happens, which it does.

So I have basically been ignoring my friends for the past 3 days. I just don't feel like they understand that even though I act crazy sometimes I do it for the better of the group. Like with Alex, who probably wouldn't have said anything the whole lunch if I didn't start talking to him. And with the other incident, I was just trying to be friendly.

But now I am depressed and alone.
NylonRed NylonRed 16-17, F Sep 1, 2012

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