i don't even question why i am the way i am anymore. i am comfortable with myself... i remain within my own mind, my own thoughts, my own world, most of the time... the only ones penetrating it really are my family (besides ep when i'm online)... my mother thinks i have a problem. she says that i "don't like anybody" which isn't true... just very few people... i am different from her and many many others it seems... call it a ***** or less forgiving or mean but i have high standards when it comes to people i deal with... even family. i can't be cool with someone and forgive them time and time again when they stab me in the back and, in turn, do the same to them... i call that being FAKE... when i am crossed i cross u out plain and simple... i don't use the word FRIEND in real life easily... u have to be honest and trustworthy and not afraid to say stuff to my face instead of behind my back... i don't tolerate that... needless to say, i have one person in real life i feel comfortable truly calling a friend, and it's a he... i don't feel the need to reach out to folks in the name of friendship anymore. i don't NEED to be with anybody... i don't have to speak to people daily and tell them my business and fish for compliments on my clothing and actions to feel worthy. i am comfortable being me.