When I Feel

When I feel that no one can truly understand me or when I have tried reaching out and found nothing to grab onto, I will retreat into myself. Even if someone is there to help, sometimes I will pull away, because I can't or don't want to deal with my circumstances at the time. I don't know what to do about it. So I withdraw. I feel that happening tonight. There is nothing I can do about something, but I am certain it is not going to have an adverse affect on me either. Still I feel threatened and it is causing me to feel defenseless. There is nothing I can do about it. So  why worry about it? I don't know. I just do.

theredlady theredlady
41-45, F
16 Responses Apr 19, 2010

Yes, I do hon and I am so sorry for the pain you've had to endure. Never give up hope and know that you are never really alone. Maybe right now is tough, but there is always a new day with new possibilities and new doors to open and explore. Be brave as I know you have been.

Hi theredlady,<br />
<br />
I understand you exactly. I have been doing the same thing since I was raped when I was 15. It is so much a part of me that I know when it is coming on. I cant blame others for the way I feel and sometimes I take it out on someone I am close too. I don't do it intentionally, It just happens. <br />
<br />
For the past two years my life has been at a stand still and no matter what I do to try to make it better it gets worse and worse. No one loves me and I am all alone so I just need to get used to it. That's the part that really hurts me when I feel like this because there is no way out. <br />
<br />
I'm always stressed out, angry, pissed off or either crying. I feel like i am on an emotional roller coaster. Does anyone get what I am saying???

Ahh Thanks guys... it's all just so much .....crap.... I'll figure it out. I always do. *hugs ezz*

Oh crap!....

Experimental. It isn't perfected yet :)<br />
<br />
You may find yourself allergic to dairy for a few days :P

I won't let you run anyway Angel.... *hugs* thank you for keeping me company tonight.. You are .......*I*<br />
Damn!... that teleporter! makes me dizzy!

*Stands with one hand on hip* :(<br />
<br />
I've no plans to run away, TRL. You're never getting rid of me now :) And I'm sorry, FS, but when I withdraw it's usually for the good of myself and the people around me.

Empty... are you trying to run away again?.... FS doesn't look happy...

LOL! I remember that day... I pinned you to the floor... i was trying to make you think about something you didn't want to think about. Thought I almost lost a friend because of it.

Probably. The words have a mind and agenda of their own. I just trust them to know what they're doing :P

I recall telling you the same thing.... using my own psychology against me ? LOL

Yep. When you pinned me down :) But I feel obliged to say,the easy way is not always the right way. In fact, more often than not, the right way is the hardest way. I don't know what significance that may have to you, if any, but it feels like it needs saying :)

Heheh.. You tried to escape me? Thank you Empty... i will .. use it ..maybe....

Tell you what....here.<br />
<br />
*Gives you a small device*<br />
<br />
That's the experimental teleport I used to escape you all those months ago. Use it if you feel like escaping the abyss a bit faster :) I'll be waiting for you on the other side ^_^

Ahh thanks Empty.. I will. Just another cycle round another abyss of self-doubt.

I feel sad when I notice you withdrawing. But we all need some time alone...<br />
<br />
*Hugs a third/fourth time* I hope you feel better soon, TRL.