My Husband Spanks Me
I need your advise, As after I have read through your forums , I feel that it might actually be better to talk to you about this then, people who just don't understand. Most of my friends just call it spousal abuse. So I don't want to talk to them about it.
Ok so here goes.
My name is Trish, I am a 34 year old woman and I have been married to my husband for 10 years now. I am very much in love with him and I have no intention of ever leaving him. My husband spanks me when I misbehave. I am actually scared from one min. to the next. now I don't me that I am afraid of him, I mean that I am afraid at what I might do to get in trouble from one min, to the next. I mean he does'nt hurt me alot, just enough to make my cry and for him to make me understand that I have upset him. And I guess it makes me remeber who is the boss as well. I don't ever really forget who is the boss, but I let it slip away from time to time.
However, I don't know if he will get mad at me for something I have done this time, or if this time, and this instant ,what I have done is acceptable. , whatever the case is, I just don't know and I wish I did. My husband get's angry easy. Most of the time I do know what will set him off. So I try to avoid it. If I do not have dinner ready when he get's home, that really makes him mad. Since , I stay home and take care of the house and the children and he works. I know that sometimes I deserve what I get, but I don't think that I do all the time. I used to go out on the weekends with him, but I quit going because when guys came up to me and started talking he would get really angry, and it was humiliating to me. He told me that, " I am way to nieve and I can't ever see what they are after."I know!, I just dont want to be rude. I used to get really afraid when men did walk up to me. And if he caught me standing there talking to them, even if it was just a "Hi , how are you typical kind of situation." I knew I was going to get it when I got home. So now, I have'nt been out with him in over a year. I chose to stay home while he goes out, because I do not want to get in trouble with him.
The one thing that I do love more then anything is that my husband is in control, and in charge and I don't have to worry about things, "Like how will this get paid , or that" he takes care of everything. I love having that security. If I do something wrong then I invite his punishment. I just wish there was something that I could do or say to him to tell him that I am scared not knowing if he is going to snap. . I don't think I should be afraid! Not like that! You know what he tells me, "Do what your are suppose to and I won't spank you?" The problem I have is that even if I think I am doing everything I am suppose to, Somehow I have missed something. I feel like I am running frantic to get things done before he get's home. Because, I tell you, if the house is a mess . I know I will get it.. My husband is a very strong and assertive man. I really don't like to cross him. But at the same time, he can be very gentle to.
Although , I know sometimes I deserve it. Sometimes I also know, or at least I think I don't. It's like a new rule just popped out of no where and he says, It was commen sence and I should have known.
Come to think of it, I know he would be angry that I am asking other men for advice. But what does he expect.
I have asked my bestfriends husband for advice, and when I brought up the problem to him and started with, Well hunny Joshua said , ! It was like WOOoo! He stopped me in my tracks. Wandering what the Hell I was talking to him about these issues for. Then he told me not to talk to other guys about it, just talk to him.. lol Ha! Whatever, he does'nt listen. The problem is, everytime I try to tell him, I don't know when to expect it or not, he tells me that it's all in my head and to just obey him. I ask you, " How do I follow all the rules when I don't know them?The ones I do know , the solid ones like , housekeeping, kids,Make him lunch, Breakfast, dinner, and here is a major one, No guys, even his friends in the house while he is gone. I can talk to our friends on the phone while he is gone all I want, and my girlfriends can come over anytime, it's not like I am being enslaved or something. Just no guys while he is at work. But that get's embaressing for me to, from time to time, cause sometimes a man drops by, his friend or my friends, then I have to tell them they can't be here right now cause my husband is'nt home. That get's embarrasing. Those are the solid rules, but from time to time. He get's mad at me for things and I am like Wooo.. Like what? When did that become a problem. And How do I follow them if they keep changing? And what do I do when he won't listen to me? I am seriously freaked and confused about this. I love my husband, but most of the time, after he spanks me , "I don't feel loved" he runs away, and I sit in my room crying, Wandering why I had been so stupid.However after I have been spanked and he comes home he is very gentle with me and loving. Shoot, and we have the greatest sex ever. It's just really hard to figure things out.
but then there are times like this: A year ago, my best friend came over cause her husband spanked her. My friend is a really big drama queen about the whole thing. I guess I kinda sound like one to. But, I told her she could pretty much hide out at my house for awhile and go home later if she wanted, Well my husband and her husband are friends as well. Aparently he called and told my husband , she was suppose to be home. I guess he knew where she would be. But anyway, her husband kept calling but my friend told me not to answer the phone. My husband came home from work in the middle of the day and sent her away, Then he spanked me for not answering the phone and for letting her stay. I didnt understand the logic of that. Why was I introuble? What did I do? He said once again, " commen sence, she shouldnt be running from her husband and you should'nt be helping her. He said, for me to think about it. " I kinda get it, cause I am not ever allowed to run off. That would **** him off to no end. But still I don't understand how it was my fault. ??? The only person I can control is myself. I didn't tell her to stay, I did'nt advise her it was the right thing to do. I just listened. She has alot more problems with her husband than I do. And I guess she tends to make her problems mine to. Someone please tell me, am I really this nieve girl that my husband thinks I am, am I like the one that is completely wrong or am I right to want these answers. ?? Tell me what to do. Please!