Daughter, Stepdaughter, And Nieces

Note: if you are a male or interested in "adult," sexual crap involving spanking, please do not bother me. Sorry to have to start off that way.

I have a daughter from my first husband. She is now married.  I am the stepmom to my second husband's daughter who is 16 now.  I have helped care for and support a few of my nieces, including helping them in college.  Currently I am supporting a niece who is 18 years old.  She does not live with us, but does live here in town by me in an apartment our whole family (extended family) has had for years for kids going to school to be able to use.

I don't consider 16 to be "late teens."  I would say 18-19 is the late teens.  Having said that, I do think that spankings are a valid and useful discipline option for girls these ages.  My experience with my daughter, stepdaughter, and nieces, and my own experiences growing up, have convinced me that girls do not suddenly, magically become adults because of a birthday.  I hope not to offend anyone around the ages of 18-22 or so reading this, but I don't think someone really starts to be an adult until around 25 or so.  And girls in the 18-22 range, especially 18-19, can be surprisingly immature and make poor choices.  Even pretty responsible girls can have this problem sometimes.  My niece and stepdaughter are still subject to the same kind of over the knee, bare butt spankings I used with my daughter until she was 22, and that I sometimes got until I was 19 by the stepmom and aunt who helped raise me.

auntcindy2010 auntcindy2010
46-50, F
26 Responses Dec 14, 2012

I was spanked by my parents tell I was 21 almost 22. So it's not uncommon for parents to spank there kids at that age Cindy.

that is good no reason why they cant be spank haribrush belt what ever good for you


Cindy, I agree with you that young people do not magically become adults because of a birthday. I've just finished reading a great book titled "You and Your Adolescent" The Essential Guide for Ages 10-25 by Laurence Steinberg. I know from personal experience that they are the same person one day before and one day after any birthday. Steinberg posits that MRI and other studies over the past 20 years proves that a young person's prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until about age 25. This is the area of the brain responsible for controlling impulses, and balancing risk and reward, and it works with another area that controls emotions. Providing and teaching discipline to children, especially that bad behavior has consequences, actually helps re-wire and train the brain resulting in better and more mature behavior over time. That is why a stubborn child simply needs more training. Everyone learns at different speeds and it does not have anything to do with intelligence. I admire the good work you are doing in your family.

I completely agree. Spanking always help me get my mind straight

Well said, Cindy. No one flicks a switch when a child turns 18 and they magically start to behave like adults and not require discipline. I haven't had to spank mine for misbehaviour much since they got older, but they know it's not off the table. My oldest is 21, and I like you I was spanked by my parents until I was 19 years old.

I think that was very well written,and very much agree with you!

I am 20 still live at home not often but sometimes I am still spanked and it helps keep me motivated and focused I have 2 younger sisters ages 17 14 and they are spanked often esp the 14 yr old she can be a real brat. so when u sa u spank your 16 yr old and your niece I like hearing others are still spanked like my family believes in ty

I am 34 and had to move home. I am spanked by my mom.

Can you add me Michelle, to your friends list???


I agree fully

I am 21 I go to college and my parents pay for it and my car etc they expect me to follow their rules which can include punishment like grounding and yes spankings if needed. I accept that and am grateful for their love support and guidelines

What is their preferred implement to use when they spank you?

mom uses a paddle dad a belt

When will American's learn that hitting (which is what spanking is), regardless of whether the child is 2 or 22, is abuse. There are other punishments that do not teach that hitting is an appropriate method of resolving conflict and that might does not necessarily make right. You people who say you were spanked as children are just passing on your legacy of abuse to your children and grandchildren. I am not advocating not teaching our children right from wrong but I am saying that hitting them, under any circumstances, is wrong. The US is one of the few first world nations that still use this barbaric form of discipline and it is past time for it to stop. Bragging about beating children into their 20s says more about you than it does your children. You should be ashamed.

There is a difference between being liberal and being an archaic fundamentalist woman abuser. Most of Europe has outlawed spanking of children in both school and at home yet you don't see them going into schools with guns and killing classmates. No, that only happens in the US where we teach our children to solve problems with violence. For those older women, if a spanking arouses you sexually, that's fine, each to their own. Otherwise, it's assault and battery and you can go to jail.

As usual, Leftist cite Europe as some sort of model to look up to…even though leftist policies have been destroying both the economic and social fabric of that continent since WWII. When the European economic zone totally collapses (putting us all in another Great Depression), and England and other countries become Islamic, we'll see if jag lover still looks up to them.

Spoken like a true Neanderthal. I have no issue with adult women being spanked if that's what the want and agree to it. As I said, each to their own. However, spanking your child, whether under 18 or over 18 is wrong and illegal. There are hundreds of scientific studies that show that spanking, while effective in stopping the behavior immediately, is not effective in the long term. Perhaps this is why you have to keep doing is over and over. Einstein said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I agree that, other than it needing to be consensual then, nothing really changes on a girl's 18th birthday. She can benefit from a spanking just as much as she could the night before her birthday.

Any boys in the family?

My dad still spank me now.now im 23. To him he will not spank me until i get married.:(

I have a hard time believing that. Do you live out in the sticks, or on a deserted island?

I take it Steve you live in a big modern city like los angeles.

Today, I do, Colemanus. But, I grew up in rural Texas. I was spanked into my mid-teens...but, I have never heard of anyone being spanked over the age of 20! I don't believe it possible.

Muslim? Desert dweller?

1 More Response

Do you change spanking implements with age?

16 is late teens 18-19 is technically an adult

good for you an i agree with you i had spank my daughters till late teens when needed

What bad deciesion did they make to get a spanking at age 20?

congratulations for your wise approach to your daughters and the other girls in the wider family discipline needs.
You are so correct when you say all girls can be 'encouraged' with a spanking. Sure as they grow into their 20's the need becomes less but there will always be a time that 'encouragement' is needed for every girl.

I agree with the teen aging 16 is a mid teen.

In my experience the girls with the strictest parents are always the *****! ALWAYS.

You are one sick individual.

Why is she sick because she promotes a view that you do not support. Your lage is clearly indicative of a lack of maturity in considering alternative views

Wrong, that poster is clearly a control freak and people like that have mental health issues. That has nothing to do with her views. Spanking on its own I support, it teaches the kid that the strong impose their will. That's why I beat my mom up at 14. Believe it or not, she hasn't hit me since.

Well said, Cindy.

I could not agree more with you. I spanked my older girls (as well as my son) until their late teens. They don't magically become too old just because they reach a certain age. They needed to show me through their behavior they no longer needed them.

The same will apply for my baby (12 yr old), as well.


Sarah and Cindy

I totally agree and a 'number' is not in any way indicative of a level of maturity. Discipline and rules are part of life. Too many children are raised without understanding that socierty needs rules and demands a consequence. Your attitudes are sensible and refreshing

Can you share a spanking you had to give to your son in his mid or late teen years?

I'm 20 and i don't take any offense about you saying girls aren't really grown up until 25.....though, i guess sometimes i feel like i'm more grown up than i am. At other times though i feel overwhelmed and still much like a girl who needs support and looking after

I think it's ok to feel that way. We've all been there!

Aww, thanks. :)!!! You sound like a very sweet lady, though one i'd surely be on my best behavior around.

From my experience, I think that's perfectly normal for quite a few of us. From a young age, I always tried to be the responsible older sister. I helped out at home and around the farm, worked hard to get good grades and so on. I felt I was quite mature, but occasionally I would just get in some weird mood and act out, have a little temper tantrum or whatever. Even when I knew it was wrong, somehow I couldn't stop myself from getting frustrated or whatever. A trip upstairs for a lesson assisted by Mother's old wooden hairbrush set me right on more than one occasion. I hated everything about that and found it so terribly embarrassing, but somehow still could not always avoid the sort of behavior that resulted in one of those trips upstairs. Your fortunate to have someone who cares enough about you to look after you when it's needed.