I Kind Of Feel Bad Making Him Cry

I’m glad I found this group. I wanted some advice here.
I have two boys, one is 16 and the other is 14. I haven’t spanked the oldest in 2 year, the youngest in about the same. They have continually missed curfew. So my youngest (with my oldest present) was told if he gets out of hand again, that I was going to take it old school and bring out my father’s old razor strap again. They didn’t believe me.
So a week goes by and my oldest decided to stay out past curfew and he got an attitude when I lectured him. I was going to ground him and then my wife reminds me of what I said, so I told my son to go his room and wait for me. I figured I was making it less embarrassing for him by doing it in private. I went in his room made him drop his jeans so he was in boxers and put his hands on the side of the bed. He did what I told him to do, but kept on begging me not to spank him and that he would keep curfew.  I didn’t really want to. He was crying by that point and just saying “Dad I won’t do it again”, a reaction I didn’t really expect from a kid of his age. I went through with it though. I didn’t go easy on him, but I wasn’t beating him or anything either. The only place I hit him was on the butt.
After maybe 8 swats I really felt bad about how much he was crying. I told him to pull his jeans up.  He just sat on his bed with his head down, wiping his face and sniffing.
Did I do the wrong thing? I think it makes me think about how I felt getting spanked at that age, though my dad would have gave us a second round for crying like that. Is he too old for this and was I really wrong here? Advice?
mbigg54 mbigg54
41-45, M
23 Responses Apr 1, 2011

you did nothing wrong most kids between the ages 13-18 love to test their parents your sons knew not to miss curfew but didn't listen when it comes down to punishments doing something you did in the past your kids remember so it always works my house we spanked when we were little and man you remember so don't feel bad

that just what they want is for to fell guilty to keep order in this world we have to have rules and if the rules are broken then you have to be punished

You have done nothing wrong. Getting eight swats is nothing compared to anything that could have happened to him while he was disrespecting the rules you set for him. Your son is not traumatized from his discipline and if he has gone two years without punishment he has learned his lesson.

I think you promised certain consequences, and you followed through with them. That's good consistent parenting. You have set your expectations clearly with your boys. As for the crying, I don't think it's wrong to cry unless you're crying to manipulate people. He certainly had a good reason to cry. It's a punishment. If it didn't hurt, it wouldn't be a punishment. I think you did fine. Hopefully, they learned something, and you won't have to spank them again for the same offense.

If your story is fictitious, you did the right thing.

If your story is real, you scarred him for life.


Making the punishment fit the crime is an vital addition to corporal punishment After suffering a really nasty strapping,. I spent an entire weekend confined to my bed for missing my curfew at age 17, with no phone, radio, or books (this was the 1960's) and never did so again

You absolutely did the right thing. You didn't beat him and you gave him the modesty of keeping his underwear on. But you showed him who is in charge in your home---and it's Dad and Mom---not the children. He's 14 and no matter how big he is physically, he is still a boy mentally and in many ways unable to see actions and consequences clearly. So you showed him, quite clearly, that Mom and Dad love him enough to discipline him when he disobeys. Better a razor strap across his bottom at 14 than something much worse when he is a grown man.

I think you did the right thing. When I was a kid I used to cry and beg and also as soon as the spanking started I would cry and scream thinking it would shorten the spanking. It never worked I always got what I deserved. Thinking back I am glad I did too. It made me a better person. I learn I can't just talk my way out of stuff.

I don't think u did the wrong thing.. I was always misbehaving when I was young and I NEVER got a punishment so I continued misbehaving.. But one day my mom gave me a punishment and I never misbehaved again.

I don't think your son is too old to be spanked at all. I have two sons 14 and 16 and they are both spanked on their bare bottom. As their mom they know I mean business when I tell them they will be getting a spanking. First I explain why I will be spanking them and they usually listen and I ask them if they are ready for their spanking and they sy yes ma'am. I then pull down their pants and underpants and they step out of them then I pull them over my knee and spank them with a wooden paddle. The other day my younger so disrespected me by talking back in front of company, He realized he was in trouble as soon as it happened. I told him to go get me the paddle which he did. I took off his pants and underpants, put him over my knee and spanked him about 50 times. My boys usually begin whimpering as soon as I tell them to bring me the paddle. It is very humiliating to be naked in front of company but my boys know that they will always be in this position for talking back. After I spanked him I sent him to the corner for 30 min. Then I called him back to me and he apologized and I let him get dressed. Whenever I spank my boys they are sent to bed at 7:00. My 14yr old son's normal bedtime is 8:00 and the 16 yr old goes to bed at 8:30. This is their bedtime all year long. No later bedtime on the weekend or summer.

they both fall asleep within 10 min so I know this is what they need.

This is crappy punishment for them... Your mothering doesnt seem good at all

Ahhh, judging people who we don't know. Let me join in. Gavin, I think your fathering doesn't seem good at all.

Well all i am saying having your children, especially teen boys, naked and spanked in front of people. Their is no excuse to have teens naked for half an hour in front of people.

Plus that is your opinion, for one story, that is all youve see of my parenting, i can see how you could think that

I think their mother can set their bedtimes as she see fit. You don't know them. They may be getting up very early for school, and even teenagers need around 8 to 9 hours of sleep a night.

3 More Responses

I don't think you did the wrong thing at all. Eight licks for a16 year old isn't excessive at all. Besides, once you promised the strapping before, you had to carry forth on it. Souns like he learned his lesson, and that js the main thing

You absolutely did the right thing! With attitude that he gave you, he had it coming. I'd probably have given more than 8 swats , but it was a lot better than doing nothing and letting him get away with it... I didn't get spanked at all growing up and right around early teens or so I realized and felt I should've been. Setting boundaries and limits and enforcing them are very important roles for parents to fill. Keep up the good work. I've got your back.

i totally agree, spank their butts! I had it to 16 and my brother (who is a midget) was spanked until 20!

I have never been spanked (am 17) if i was naughty i just got things took off me or grounded but i think i needed a spanking and corner time

Asking a group of parents who spank their kids whether you did the right thing is definitely not going to give you an unbiased response. Kids take shelter in their parents and by hitting them you shatter the one thing that is stable in their lives, the one person they should be able to trust. He will only thank you for it later because it is the only way he can cope with the trauma. He doesn't want to hate you so he will try to believe you did the right thing. But forcing someone to behave by giving them pain will only lead them to hurt others and resent you in the long run. I should now. It's taken me more than a decade to learn to love myself and see my stubbornness as determination rather than a reason to be beaten. Is your son so stupid that you can't talk to him? If my father had trusted me to do the right things in life I wouldn't have dropped out of college simply to defy him and his beatings.

i Agree With Everything Steveslittlehelper is Saying . if The Punishment is Deserved Make it Hurt or its Not A Punishment . i MySelf Had My Bare Bottom Strapped Hard By My Mum Until i was Age 23 . Thats When i Left Home Age 23 . davidmaher48@gmail.com

You absolutely did the right thing.I have 4 kids 2 boys,2 girls,they all get bare bottom spankings.I'm almost positive that when they are 16 they will still be getting bare bottom spankings.By continually missing curfews & getting away with it is disrespectful to you & your wife,from the sounds of it he needs a lot more spankings.

I think you did the right thing

you did good to spank him some day he will thank you for it. my mom did all the spanking at home but she stopped when i was 12 years old. but i can tell you in all honisty she should have belted me much longer i needed it. the hardest thing i ever had to do was face my mom and dad the day i was sent to jail for being a dumb ***. and i know that had she spanked -beat my *** longer i would not have done the stupid thing i did that got me sent to jail and broke mom and dads hearts even now years latter i still feel like an a** hole for doing what i did to them when i went to jail. i wish she had spanked me longer and still believe that i needed it .thanks for letting me say my peice

Let me first say, for anyone who checks my profile, that parental spanking, adult disciplinary spanking and fetishes are three different things. I happen to believe in/be into all three, and I know how to keep them separate.<br />
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You did the right thing, both because spanking is the best and most effective punishment method in a case like that, and because once you said you would you had to follow through with it. Don't feel bad about spanking your kids, or about the punishment making them cry, just don't do it more often than they need it.

mbigg54 . you made the Right Choice . you are A Good Father That Cares Enough to Punish your youngsters . and it was Well Deserved it has to Hurt or its not A Punishment . youngsters Need Discipline Until They Are Adults . if one is being Like A Child Unruly or Disobedient at AnyeAge Then Punishment is Needed . Trusted Traditional Methods Like A Razor Strop . Training youngsters to be Good Adults . Strict Discipline Helps youngsters Focus . The Best Parents Are Very Strict Turning out The Best Adults . Corrective Therapy Works it did in The 1950s 1960s Why not now . Respected Trusted Gent . Age 62 years young . Citizen of The World . davidmaher48@gmail.com

He is right i have to older boys and they are still spanked bare bottom, we are a firm believer in it and our boys have to remove all when spanked , everthing. If you want to chat more I am on yahoo as indycpljym just add me. ! Embarassment works well we have found

hi indy, its great you still spank your teenagers, I was spanked to age 16 and it works!

I guess I understand that.