Yeah Buts And What Ifs?

Being alone is not all bad. It gives one time to really focus on what is going on in your life. I used to be so busy. I even joked about it.

I just saw myself going the other way but neither he nor I had time to wave

But now that I am alone. I have had more time to try not only to come to some sense of how this happened, but also figure out exactly what needed to be done about it, if anything. I have been asked by several people in PMs and also whiteboard, "How did I manage to recover from such tragedy? They tell me, "I am stuck grieving, I am stuck believing that there is no hope, I can't get myself to be motivated, I can't stick to a plan, I do good then I fail."
I also get criticism a lot. I get people who say, "Well you are a good dreamer but things don't work that way in the real world. GET REAL" That last one really made me laugh. I wonder what world they think I'm on. Let's face it, telling someone to, "Get Real" doesn't make any sense. We all are "Real" and we don't need to get there. Our reality is exactly where "Real" is. It is a putdown to someone by another because they don't believe in themselves and want you as company in their world of disbelief.

Stay there if that is what you want "Real" to be.

From my last story in the "I believe in sending positive vibes" group I took you from dreams to reality. It is easy to read but I assure you from personal experience it is much more difficult to do. I was able to do this because I had several successes in my past and I wanted to be sucessful again. But what if you have very few successes? What if you never won anything? What if you were never president of any club? What if all you have are memories of watching others succeed while you sit back and and sneer in jealousy? First off, you must stop comparing yourself to others. Compete against your own goals. Who cares if you are the top person in the room in other's eyes.

What you have to be is the top person in your own eyes.

If you have a dream, If you look at something and say to yourself, "That would sure be nice." If you can picture yourself enjoying the experience of living in that moment. Then you can make it a reality. But it will take many steps to get there and it will take backtracking at times. The steps along the path are clear and awareness of where you are on that path is crucial to maintaining the journey.
Your dream will change to hope when you start to wish that things were different. You hope that it won't be the same as it was today and as it was yesterday. You hope to change it but you don't know how. But you have the desire to not want it to be as is. You don't like it this way. That is a major step from not caring to change your situation. You start to hope. When you see a pattern of hope occuring then you just moved along the path to the next step. Don't forget to make youself aware that you are now out of the dream stage and you have just moved to hoping your dreams will happen.
So you are now hoping for something different. As you hope you may have doubts about how to proceed. You may get ahead of yourself and even try something and fail. This is a dangerous and critical spot to be at. Don't move too fast here. Don't try anything. Do nothing but sit back and make your hope become a passion. Feel how much you desire your dream to become a reality. Believe it will happen. Don't worry about how you'll get it. Yearn for it. Make yourself passionate about it.

Desire it above everthing else.

When you feel you have enough passion about it and you really want and hope it will be true with every ounce you have, you have moved yourself to the passion necessary and now passion about your hope takes the front seat. Pat yourself on the back. It has been a long time since you felt passionate about doing anything positive about your situation. You really want to do something about it. You don't know how but you will not stop trying. Remember this feeling as it will be a cornerstone to land on as you start planning how to get there.
Now you're ready. You are not backing down. You dig in with a me or me attitude. You either win or you win. There are no other options. You will make your dreams a reality come hell or high water. You've got the passion to succeed. But where do you begin? That depends on your dream. Do all the research you can.

I call this the "Ya but and what if" stage.

Gather all the facts.The internet, other media, people around town, your family, ask everyone you feel comfortable with even some people who seem to not know some things may have that one piece of information that will give you as much as you can get to start developing a plan of how to get where you desire to be. Use all this to establish the best plan you can. Have a plan B available. Don't start working any plan without consulting resources and testing it in that setting first. If you think you have the skills to do it, gather support and consult them. Make them aware of what you intend to do. Bounce ideas off them and figure out a better plan. These are mini-plans that will help you be more successful giving you courage . It will better prepare you and give you support to consult with should you fail. Most likely you will not succeed on your first attempt so you are proceeding with a safety net which will protect you and get you back to your cornerstone of no return. You learned some things with failure. You have support when this happens and you never lost your passion to succeed. You have gained knowledge and courage in the process of failing. You develop a new plan maybe even using parts of the old one.

Your passion is driven by courage to succeed.

Through this process of failure and persistent passion with courage and support, you will become ingrained with a new power, firmly woven in yourself. You reflect on this and realized how far you have come on this journey. You had a dream and you kept hoping for it. It became an obsession. You developed a passion for it. You firmly planted that passion so that you will never turn back. You researched , gathered support, shared thoughts with them and developed several plans. You had failures that taught you how important your support was and how you remained passionate with new knowlege and courage to try again.

Your courage pushes you forward until success is achieved

An amazing place to be from where you were. You have acheived many accomplishments not just the success of your dream. You have gained knowlege. You have strengthen your support. You have empowered your passions and courage so that you believe that any dream can become reality. You are strong and confident and are ready for any challenge. Nothing is beyond your reach.

You can make any dream your reality

It is hard work and if you stop after the first failure or skip ahead in the steps along the path, not reflecting on your current place in this journey, you will have a more difficult time of it. Don't stop with one reality. Dream of another, make that one happen. Keep doing this and you will discover how you are no longer a person who goes around telling others to "Get Real." When you hear them say that you use it as a reminder how you do this everyday. You will know how to take any reality and change it to your own. Each one real. You just have learned the secret of deciding which reality you chose to live in.

You own your own reality, It doesn't own you. The power is now yours.