Disconnecting From The World

I do spend an ample amount of time by myself and I dont enjoy it as much as I would like to.

I find that I spend some of it worrying about not getting out there and connecting, sharing and expereinceing it with other people.
When I am out there I feel as if I would rather be by myself because I am uneasy and anxious when in a group. I dont like to go out much and when I do I find it hard to interact,fit in, and enjoy it. I would rather just spend it alone because its easier. I know that
like anything in life there has to be a balance but I feel like society makes me feel, or I make myself feel that if you spend time on your
own your a loser, noone likes you and that you are weird and dont belong. Why does it feel this way and what is with the negativity that surrounds spending time with yourself like it is a bad thing.

I would love to spend more time with myself, being able to do what I love to do without having the thought that I am disconnecting from the world and becoming a loner,
MiTch909 MiTch909
22-25, M
1 Response May 5, 2012

I feel disconnected too. I find it quite had to interact with others, even with my boyfriend. I can't empathize with their interests, because I find them superficial and meaningless. Most people I meet seem so caught up in this superficiality, that it annoys me because I don't want to keep being sucked into that experience, I just don't care about it, I want more visceral, natural experiences. That's when I'm at ease. When I'm defensive and tense, well that's my bad, and Im aware, even though there are many triggers in the environment, I know I can control my emotions and thoughts to an extent. Like you, I don't seem to fit in. I have never fit in. So most of the time Im by myself. Which isnt bad at all, except that to go to the places I like, it is dangerous to go alone. Which sucks. So I have to try to persuade my boyfriend to come with me, or someone from my family even though we can hardly stand each other for more than a few hours. I wish I could meet people that I could get along with more easily. Sometimes I wish it was different, sometimes I don't care, most of the time I just accept it for what it is, because when I've tried to force interaction with the wrong people it just feels like I shouldn't have forced it. So, yes. You may be disconnected, but you are not the only one ;) And I guess id rather be disconnected, than part of the crazy crowd.