Wait a Tick. There Are Other People Out There?

I moved out of home once I finished my university degree; work required that I relocate.

For the first few years of my working life, I spent time living with flatmates who happened to be fairly good friends. My work meant I had a lot of contact with people, and contact in fairly intense situations.

During my last years in that career path, I moved again for work, further away from family and friends. This time I lived by myself, and the adjustment was made quite easy by the fact that the demands of the job were getting ever more intense.

Over the years, I'd also drifted away from my university friends.

So when I quit my job, I basically became an urban hermit.

My only regular contact with people of any sort these days is with buying things from shops, otherwise I spend all my time alone.

And you know, it's really quite lovely, most of the time. People create a lot of noise, and fuss, and complications.

That said, I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. But there's nothing wrong with it for a period of time. I've learned a lot in the space it's given me.

TheTardyDodo TheTardyDodo
31-35, M
7 Responses Jul 7, 2007

It is exactly those influences that prevent us from exploring who we are as individuals...some people keep themselves surrounded just so that they won't have to turn inward. Many people marry, have families, and find themselves in mid-life wondering who it is they are, why they married the stranger in the bed next to them and resent their children... "mid-life' crisis. I believe it should be mandatory that people live and support themselves independently before being allowed to marry, therefore bringing more to the relationship as a partner, rather than being needy or co-dependent. Silence is a wonderful thing and should be appreciated for the healing it gives. Solitude offers succor from the deafening crowd and constant needs of others.

hey there i can relate to that. im lonely and sometimes the only living things that i talk to during the day are my dogs. the sad thing is that im in a relationship and im so lonely it hurts. how can a person be in a relationship and be lonely? i dont have many friends as i only see them when my partner goes away for work so they dont really realise im there and i feel bad just jumping in and out of thier lives like that. any hints for me??? anyone at all i will take any advice

Amazing.wow.I wish I can quit my job freely in the future.

Want to hear something funny? I've hated shopping malls all my life, like really loathed them, but the other day I went by myself for the first time ever and it was extraordinarily pleasant. I got what I needed to get and left. It put me in a fantastic mood. I'm really starting to think there's something to this being alone stuff.

I wish I had more time to myself, I eagerly wait for my flatmate to go to bed so I can spend some quality time doing whatever hits me on a whim, I come to work and am surrounded by so many different people, I talk all day long to people.<br />
Gah! People! I would much rather an invisible suit to walk amongst the multitudes, so that I might watch without taking part…But I learn a lot from people by analysing my own reactions and applying those analysis to others…so I need people to react too as well. I think the best way to sum up people is ‘complicated’, that includes me and ya’ll. Thanks for the story.

solitude is my greatest ally and also my greatest enemy. i can easily envelop myself in it and before long several seasons have passed. i find the only time i am truly progressing in life is when i have people around me on a somewhat constant schedule. this is bothersome but it's those experience presented by those around us that help us to move forward - all the fuss, noise, complication and drama all of it play into those 'experiences' which prompt us. without this ... i sit in the same place with no upward nor backward movement. for me, this is okay considering my physical state and medical complications, but for others ... well ... err hem ... with all that said, it may not be the same for others as it is for me so i shall not judge.

An urban hermit, eh? Nice! I'm happy to hear that you've adjusted well to your new lifestyle! People certainly create a lot of noise, and fuss, and complications. I completely agree with you! That's one of the main reasons I keep many people at arm's length; way too much drama! Spending time by yourself is nice, but it may lead to depression. Personally, I need to be surrounded by family or really close friends because I'll think too much if I'm left in solitude. I'm having trouble sleeping right now because my thoughts will not stop! What the F?