And It Is A Good Thing.

I am going to be turning 50 this summer. Looking back, I found much of my life was spent in the company of so many people needing time and energy form me. So to have time to myself is a very pleasant and enjoyable experieince.

If I do spend this time with my dog, does that count as alone. I wonder?

After my twin sister died when I was 18 it was difficult to be by myself and struggled with avoiding time alone. I probably did this to deal with the loss at such a young age and the circumstances around her death. So I took on as much "busy-ness"., possible.

And now in my later life, I am ready to slow it donw and be in the presence of God. As scripture says, "Be still and know that I am God."

Pretty much says it all.   

yogibearmama yogibearmama
46-50, F
3 Responses Mar 8, 2010

yogi girl, you sound a lot like me....I too spend a lot of time alone, after 30 years of marriage my husband took a new job which required him to work 3-11....a good job, in terms of money and benefits, but in terms of our life, not so good......<br />
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what I hate about alone time is that other people are very critical of it when they see people doing it...especially women our age...we are tagged as lonely women, when quite honestly, we have been in the company of people forever, and now find ourselves in situations of aloneness....some would say it was heaven sent, others would disagree....<br />
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Be careful not to let the alone time get to be too much, it will take its toll....the more you are alone, the more you want to be alone....

Yes, it surely makes a difference when the kids can't just be themsleves when he's around. You picked up on that one. I do get frustrated and hurt for the kids, when they are told negative things all the time by their Papa, who they love and want to please.<br />
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As far as the legalities. We don't have much to fight over. There's enough debt to go around. Ha!<br />
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April looks good. Spring is a great time to start a new life.

You are a giver who is surounded by takers. You deserve more from life and must fight for you right to live your life in happiness and suround yourself with nice, positive people. It is not too late to make a change, The issues that your husband has are HIS, not yours. You didn't cause them, you tried so hard to save him, it didn't work. The first step is the hardest, the more you know about the legalites, the better. Find out whats ahead before letting him in on it and go at your own pace, these things can be scary, but look at the alternative in the corner of the room. Divorce can be nasty so be prepared for the worst. Just imagine yourself in your own place, with your dogs and friends and family coming around because the grouch is gone. Youll get there, 50 is the new 40!