Spending Too Much Time Alone


  There were many times when I felt I was spending way too much time alone.  It all began when I was growing-up I remember spending a lot of time playing in my parents unfinished basement playing childhood games.  Even when I played on my own it was either swinging on a swing or riding my bike. When I was a young teenager I still spent a lot of time alone in an unfinished basement in a new house. I was interested in painting while listening to the radio.  

   It wasn't until I got married that I felt I would never be alone again, but I was so wrong.  There were so many times that I spent alone sometimes just daydreaming about my personal problems, but none of them got resolved until my husband was transferred out of the city, but then it was the very first time I had moved so far away from my parents home. Although we did visit my parents a few times, but then I remember feeling I wanted my independence, but I didn't know I had to separate from my parents in order to have my independence.  My mother had always been so over-protective through the whole time I lived at home.

   In one of my self-help books I read that I never left my parents home emotionally.  I realized I had left my parents home physically when I was only 22 years old to move in with my boyfriend who became my husband, but when we first began living together I lost my job.  And ended up staying at home, but at the time I had imagined that I would enjoy not having to work, but discovered after losing my job I had no reason to even get out of bed each morning.  I hated doing housework and it was something I felt didn't make me happy.  At the time I felt I wanted to have a child, but when I discovered that I was pregnant I had imagine that my boyfriend would be happy, but instead he suggested that I have an abortion, because I was too young and we were not married.

    A year later we got married, but I was now unemployed and childless.  I felt so unhappy and depressed.  There were days that I just sat and daydreamed like I once did when I was young.  It wasn't until I decided to take a Nursery Aid course that my life got better.  Although the course didn't work out for me. Then found out my husband was being transferred due to his job.  We would be moving to a new city where we would be starting a new chapter in our life, but what I didn't know that I would be at home alone for hours everyday.  Although again I kept myself occupied with writing in my journal and even took an upgrading course to improve my grammar.  I learned that I really liked writing stories. And that was when I had thought about taking a Creative Writing course, but it wasn't long after we only lived there for a few years when my husband was transferred again.   



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3 Responses Mar 13, 2010

Hey, I too feel alone. The solution I have found (but not yet plucked up the courage to execute) is to offer your skills to the community. If you enjoy writing, try starting by offering to put something together for the local newsletter. That way you will (undoubtedly) have to go out and talk to people about something, with a purpose, so you can write about it truthfully. Then you will develop more skills and probably meet people who would find them helpful. And so on.

I enjot writing myself. I am in Beijing but feel greatly alone. It is so boring.

Your book seems to be interesting. How do i get it?