Dangerous Spending

growing up my mother was not a mother at all. while my grandmother raised me and my three siblings she was of blowing all her money on booze, drugs, and tattoos. since my dad wasnt around this was my examaple of how to handle money. so sure enough once i started making money i did the same. i blew it on toys, clothes, then later on in life things like ipods, playstation 3, cell phones.....the list goes on and on. while i was deployed it got worse. i was buying hundreds of things i didnt need in a month spending thousands of dollars. back home my pregnant wife couldnt afford gas to get to work. she didnt tell me about this until i got home and when she did it killed me i felt so ashamed and selfish. recently i renewed my cell phone contract and purchased a new phone without telling my wife. she just found out today how much i spent and cried and asked me if i thought that was ok. i am soo fearfull that if i cant get this under control my marrige will be ruined.