Absolutely Nothing

This is a game I love to play with my kids and students. As the years go on, I've realized I can't spy anything with my little eye. I need one giant eye, you know, like a huge cyclops eye. My Mother gifted me the equivalent of a cyclops eye a few Christmases ago. One of those fancy, magnifying, make-up mirrors. See your face X 100. I promptly stowed it away in the cabinet.

Flash forward to last Tuesday... I am off to a meeting and trying to look like I am going to a meeting. I decide to jazz it up with beautiful scarf. All day long, that scarf is bugging hell out of me. A persistent tickle and itch on my neck.
When I got home, I saw where I had been itching. I leaned towards the mirror, squinted, and saw something disturbing.
Growing on the side of my face was an enormously long hair, it was grey and stiff. Oh hell no. I didn't even need tweezers, one yank is all it took.

I dug around in the cabinet, desperately looking for that X100 mirror. I eventually found it, took a good look, and I saw lots of little grey hairs coming in. What the hell?
Is menopause turning me into Colonel Saunders?
Should I start shaving?
Give up scarves?
Pretend I care?
I guess I do kinda care.
Lilt Lilt
22 Responses Feb 24, 2012

It was only one rogue hair for now, Sylphy. <br />
But I hear you with the hormonal business. Mother Nature was sure in a funk that day.<br />
<br />
My Doc keeps telling me I am in perfect health...just not 30 anymore. <br />
Gee, thanks.

I know this has been a while and hopefully you have found a remedy. Goodness, you are sooo funny, Lilt!<br />
<br />
If it's still a bother, have your hormones checked through blood work. Hormonal imbalance can whack a woman's entire body real good.

I say we gotta work with what Mother Nature gave us. Right, Dex?<br />
Warts and all, as the ex<x>pression goes.<br />
Hmmmm...I wonder if Google has come up with a special honing device for detecting these kind of things? You can see the weeds in my lawn on Google Earth. They surely have Google Backside.

Hahahaa!<br />
<br />
I am careful to cover all reflective surfaces nowadays, Lilt!<br />
<br />
Beautiful story!

Sounds like a lot of maintenance to me.<br />
I think I would rather grow the beard and become a mountain hermit.

The latest and the greatest technology is laser. They say it's permanent hair removal but you know....we've heard it all before from the beauty industry. It does hurt a bit and you'll most likely need a five or six appointments once a month but the results are great - usually no hair for 4 months. Then it's just every 4 mo's or so. <br />
<br />
I don't know how our menopausal women ancestors survived without it!

Welcome to my world too. I'm sure you look fine but with extra hair ;0)

I am still undecided about the scary mirror.

Don't do it! No need for depression, anxiety inducing objects in the house! Life is too short. Replace the scary mega mirror with a circus mirror and laugh instead!

And dim the lights.

Ah,I wore a scarf yesterday....I would be LOST without my big, yet scarey mirror. Due to facial hair, I no longer recite to myself : mirror-mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all......<br />
Your's in bristle, wooly

Mamma, I didn't even notice your ZZ Top beard.<br />
Cause I'm a fool for your stockings.

LOL ~ I've pulled a few just like that out of my NIPPLE.<br />
<br />
"What the Hell?" is right!!<br />
<br />
HAHA @ the Colonel Saunders reference... Mine is more like ZZ TOP, but perhaps that's more a grooming issue.. <br />
<br />
oh.......... nevermind!

Doubled over with laughter..perhaps I laugh too hard....wonder why?

Don't laugh too hard, after 40. Just sayin'...... from personal experience, of course.

Ha! Laughing too hard, for sure. and no trampolines!!!!

See... everyone's laughing hard... haha

It gets even worse than this :-D that is why I was laughing.:-D I am 53.....:)

1 More Response

That depends on how much pain you are prepared to endure, (its a little worse than tweezers) and how much you can afford to pay. Exterminate one hair at a time. At least they dont always come back this way. <br />
But surely you are guilty of massive exaggeration here - you cant have sprouted a beard overnight? Or is that why we can only see the top of your head?

Ava, will they electrocute my entire beard?

I just had to butt in here... you made me laugh sooo hard!

Dont tweeze, electrolysis is the way to go

God and DNA have been cracking me up for years.<br />

Proof that God(or DNA) has a sense of humor.......zits and gray hair at the same time.

Keeping America beautiful, one hair at a time.<br />
Your contribution is greatly appreciated.

Closest I came to make-up was Clearasil I spose ... long ways back in the rear-view now.<br />
<br />
But I don' consider my trimmers an pluckers tools of vanity ... so much as consideration for the rest of society.<br />
<br />
So I kinda care too.<br />
<br />
An you make me laugh, soxy one. =)

I think I get it, Nell. The experts are always saying...<br />
"use make-up to enhance your natural beauty."

i have considered simply ignoring the sprouting ornamentation except for brushing some bright fuschia on it when a bit of color is desired.

But do you have a cyclops eye, Dot?