It Takes A Real Pair Of Balls

My friend looked at me a bit disgustedly.  She'd accompanied me to the sex toy shop, expecting me to FINALLY buy a ***** and/or vibrator, only to see me once again looking at toys for my husband.  I couldn't help it; I am not entirely comfortable buying things for myself, and I like giving gifts to others.  And it wasn't entirely unselfish.  I had high hopes that if I bought something fun for my husband, it might make him more playful and adventurous.  If I bought something useful, like a cockring, perhaps it might make him hard, which would benefit me pretty directly.  I'd rather have him in me than a ***** any day.

Actually, this was the second sex toy shop.  The first shopping trip had proven a bit of a bust.  Three purchases: 
1.  A bullet vibe which I killed within a day, burning out the motor.  It just was not as good as my fingers on my ****.  I know how to make myself ***.  I don't really need a vibe, although I've subsequently learnt that a decent power can be amazing.  Not a tiny bullet, though.  Waste of dough.
2.  A butt plug - vibrating - that proved too big for my virgin *******.  I have been assured that as time goes on, and I train, this will be a useful purchase.  Time will tell.
3.  A cockring for my husband, presented with a hopeful smile.  Received with a frown.  Only the gods know where it is now.  The garbage, most likely.

So there we were, and I was looking at more cockrings and prostate massagers.  And my friend said to me "STOP. Get something for you."  So I did, sort of.

There's a joke going around the internet attributed to Betty White.  "Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things take a pounding."  In fact, the lady did not say it.  At least that's what a snopes forum post says.  Instead, it was a comedian named Sheng Wang.  He cracks me up:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8QKGwb3c5I

Anyway, I got to thinking about the fact that I am a lady of a certain age.  I have had two children.  It is not just my child bearing hips that stretched in the process of giving birth to them.  My ***** did too.  And while my husband has a large member, and has complained that at times I feel too tight around him, I am aware that not all men are built the same.  I'd like to be able to provide a snug fit for other men, just in case I ever decide to take the plunge further down the rabbit hole.  And I've been intrigued by the notion of Ben Wa balls for some time.  So when I saw the little box with the pink and white balls, I figured it was worth a try.  I bought it, to my friend's chagrin, and went to the restroom to do an installation. 

Fun Factory describes their product thusly:

Smartballs playfully get your pelvic muscles in shape. The velvety and sleek Smartballs Teneo Duo goes the dual ball route, sure to captivate lovers of vaginal balls and convert newbies. The ridges on the balls add sensation, while the inner balls rotate quietly in response to movement, making kegel exercises fun and stimulating. The ergonomically-formed finger hollow on the base makes insertion easy, while the silicone removal loop allows for effortless removal. 4" insertable, 1 1/2" in diameter.

They were quite fun.  For the record, I've worn them several times since I bought them.  In fact, I have them in right now.  I'm about to go for a walk in the bright sunshine, and I am sure it will be most enjoyable, as I feel them inside me, rolling a bit.  My ***** muscles shall clench at them, squeezing tight and relaxing repeatedly, and I will have a small climax as I move.

Life is good.  I am pleased with my purchase.  I wonder if I shall have a chance to demonstrate my newly developed strength on some nice gentleman's manhood.  Time will tell.


milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
4 Responses May 12, 2012

Me too. My mom & several generations have passed this secret down.

Wish us guys could walk around with a toy and have *******.

Worst gift ever given to me by a woman was a vibrating **** ring.. Noisy and was way to small. :)

One just never knows. :)