Saying Goodbye To My Manhood

I am slowly saying goodbye to my manhood. No, I am not getting srs...for now, anyway. I am not sad; maybe I should be. I have never really been all that good at being a man. More often than not, my wife took the lead. I tried to be the aggressive parent when it came to discipline, but honestly my heart wasn't in it. The only time I ever shot any living thing with a gun, I cried. I was more content to help mom tend to her roses than learning to change oil. Most car and home repairs I would rather pay someone. I have always felt more comfortable in the company of women than men. I have been the one that always helped pick out dresses and shoes. My wife has said that she, her friends, my mom, other female relatives, even my own children; they all have always recognized that something was different about me. I cant count how many men have hit on me thinking I was gay. I was actually flattered. Never offended. My wife said all of her friends always thought I was gay. My teenage boys jokingly say I am gay. My gay son says I am gayer than him. I reply I am not gay. Some day the truth will come out, and the truth is much stranger than fiction. And of course the truth is I was never good at being a man...and everyone will say oh, now it makes sense.
brendakaitlin brendakaitlin
36-40, T
5 Responses Sep 18, 2012

Lovely story, I threw my man-self out a month ago and put all his things into storage. I have been living as a woman full time for a month now and hope to do so the rest of my life. I know I am a woman now. I have an appointment this week with the shrink who has been treating me for depression. I plan to introduce him to the new feminine me. I think it will help with my treatment and want a referral from him for the clinic they have here at the local VA hospital for transgendered vets. With a little luck, I may be on hormones by the end of the month. Why not check out my profile page and meet some of the girls. We are mostly older ladies, a few real girls who support us and a female to male crossdresser we call our boyfriend. If you like, you can join our circle

Brenda you have been a good friend of mine almost a year now, in this time we both have progressed in both our self-image and in our self-realization. Hang on to life, embrace who you are inside, be true to yourself it makes more available to those around you who love you and see you floundering to get a grip on who you are. These are all things I do daily and for the most part have reconciled with myself and my family/friends. We have chatted, laughed and cried together Brenda, I have a huge hug for you as your struggle with self realization matures and becomes clear as day. Once struggled to have a smile appear on my face, now I cant seem to wipe my grin away, and it is contagious because when I am at ease others around me seem to loosen up as well. Some do not understand how to behave around me not wanting to cross that line of being nosy, my relaxing posture assures them that its OK to ask questions if you need to, but its also Ok to just take me as I am.

Thanks Ali. You being there makes my heart feel good.

Thank u hun your comments help me

I agree with Elle. Embrace who you really are!

yes that is what im still workin on .i need to hear this.

It doesn't get any clearer than that, does it. Embrace the woman that you are and were meant to be Brenda! Hurray for YOU!!!!

Well I hope you feel a bit better venting your feelings. You may be saying goodbye to your manhood, but I think you have an amazing strengh of character to open up and tell everyone how you are feeling. Well done.