My New Name, Too Good To Be True

Me and my bride went to see the new Twilight movie. She is team Edward; I am team Alice. While we were waiting for the movie to start she was calling Brenda. She asked how I came up with Brenda, I told her about me and my cousin playing house when we were small children. She asked if I had a middle name. I told her no. I never really had an attachment to Karen. No story about me and my lesbian cousin playing house; her being the dad and me being the mom. So she said Kaitlin. I love it!!! I think I will probably keep Brenda as my first name, but go by Kaitlin. Its very close to my male middle name. I feel giddy as a school girl. Therein may lie the issue. I know I am truly lucky to have the support I have. She helps me apply concealer. She helps me apply light mascara to show my long eye lashes. They are blond and hidden so that helps me highlight. We have our salon day. We get our brows done. I get a mani and a pedi; she gets nails and a pedi. She is always picking out clothing for me that is feminine, but looks unisex. Helping me to hold my sanity until we get to a time and a place that is better for me to tear the door off of the closet. I know she loves me, but sometimes I am afraid I am her project. Sometimes it just feels too perfect. We have been together for 22 years. It feels like one of those dreams where you know its a dream, but you go on sleeping not wanting to wake up. She calls me her butterfly. I just worry once I start further down the path. Will she be there. Once the hormones start flowing. Will I be Kaitlin to her.
brendakaitlin brendakaitlin
36-40, T
2 Responses Dec 2, 2012

at the 1 year point I am feeling like this same trap and it is closing. I will keep you posted as this year progresses to see if I will have to become single again.

Yes, that is the fear isn't it. Mine as well. Will my wife stay with me? You are lucky in that you have her support. Try not to worry about tomorrow Brenda, just today, enjoy today. Tomorrow will have enough worries of it's own. Enjoy the day dear.